Lyric discussion by Kikipai 

Cover art for The Way You Want It lyrics by Keane

I think it makes the most sense that it is a guy who holds a grudge because of a relationship. She broke up with him, he is still in love with her, and he always thinks of her and wonders if she thinks of him too. As time passes, he grows bitter, and even if she returns to him, he would shun her. He feels horrid, but... he does it to himself.