"I've Been Losing You" as written by and Pal Waaktaar....
It wasn't the rain that washed away...
Rinsed out the colours of your eyes
Putting the gun down on the bedside table
I must have realized
It wasn't the rain
That made no difference
And I could have sworn it wasn't me
Yet I did it all so coldly
Almost slowly
Plain for all to see
Oh c'mon please now
Talk to me
Tell me things I could find helpful
How can I stop now
Is there nothing I can do
I have lost my way
I've been losing you
I can still hear our screams competing
You're hissing your s's like a snake
Now in the mirror stands
Half a man
I thought no one could break
It wasn't the rain
That made no difference
Nervously drumming on:Run away
But I want the guilt to get me
Thoughts to wreck me
Preying on my mind
So, please now
Talk to me
Tell me things I could find helpful
For how can I stop now
Is there nothing I can do
I have lost my way
I've been losing you
Rinsed out the colours of your eyes
Putting the gun down on the bedside table
I must have realized
It wasn't the rain
That made no difference
And I could have sworn it wasn't me
Yet I did it all so coldly
Almost slowly
Plain for all to see
Oh c'mon please now
Talk to me
Tell me things I could find helpful
How can I stop now
Is there nothing I can do
I have lost my way
I've been losing you
I can still hear our screams competing
You're hissing your s's like a snake
Now in the mirror stands
Half a man
I thought no one could break
It wasn't the rain
That made no difference
Nervously drumming on:Run away
But I want the guilt to get me
Thoughts to wreck me
Preying on my mind
So, please now
Talk to me
Tell me things I could find helpful
For how can I stop now
Is there nothing I can do
I have lost my way
I've been losing you
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Tell me things I could find helpful."
I think he had an affair - the gun on the table is the proverbial smoking gun "I did it all so coldly...I want the guilt to get me."
And now he is saying we need to try and fix this.
She’s all washed out and probably sick .
so he put down his gun on the bedside table ( maybe she’s dying)!because he was coldly and in full view of everyone doing her wrong ( maybe abuse as the lyrics suggest slowly over long term)
They were obviously fighting a lot.
I can still hear our screams competing ( fights)
You hissing like a snake ( she fought back )
Now in the mirror stands half the man I thought no one could break ( meaning him)
And I could have sworn it wasn’t me ( he did it without even realizing he was abusive )
He could leave but he wants to stop fighting now . I guess he did some damage to her and she can’t talk or won’t . He wants to make amends and he’s losing her.
Abuse emotional and physical can make a woman lose her voice eventually . She probably will never open up to him again. It’s sobpainful you don’t have words and you don’t look at the world the same way . If it’s long term the one who abused you over long term cannot heal you . Outside intervention is required. Been there .
Breaks my heart .
At least he’s asking .
To me, the lyrics appear to describe a man facing a mirror, who no longer recognizes the person he's seeing in that mirror (he sees his reflection lifeless - all color washed out from his eyes) and appears to be living a textbook case of identity dissociation, where the voices in his head (his different personas or alters) are tormenting him, driving him mad, and tearing his mind apart to the point where he contemplates committing suicide (reaching for the gun to shoot himself) to end it all/free himself from this pain but, in a moment of hope, decides against it.
I think the lyrics is him reaching out to his "true" self/persona ("Talk to me / How can I stop now / Is there nothing I can do?" in a last desperate attempt to "run away" from this torment - revealing that he's been losing his way in the music world, he's been losing his true self and giving way to other personas/alters battling in his head and wreaking havoc with his mind ("I can still hear our screams competing /You're hissing your s's like a snake / Now in the mirror stands /Half a man /I thought no one could break") - these verses describe the mental torment that dissociation evokes in an individual where the different personas tend to argue with one another, thus heard as several voices.
Dissociation rules in the music industry, possibly more conspicuous nowadays than it ever was in the 80s/90s, with every artist nowadays showing increasingly alarming signs of dissociation or what they so fancily like to term as "alter egos".
In my view, this song is nothing more than a narration of a musician's disturbing journey in the industry - with dissociation, torment, and helplessness being the underlying common themes.
There's always been an eerily disturbing, melancholic, and a "there's-something-more-to-it" feeling to A-ha's songs and, in my opinion, rarely did their lyrics refer to a mere human beloved, take "Velvet" for instance. Possibly the reason why Morten oftentimes expressed his frustration that very few seemed to care what the lyrics actually meant.
That he killed her or least pulled the trigger seems obvious. It's though he was possesd though when he did it. Voices in his head told him to kill her and now he's asking them, "What do I do now?"