I believe this is another amazingly on point and nuanced commentary on the insanity that follows emotionally abusive relationships. The abuser has no anxieties, no emotional pain, or salience/memory for that matter, so the survivor appears to be the crazy one, obsessed with the abuse and that buzzword that seems to ignite arguments about diagnosing people without a degree, etc. funny how you say the words domestic violence, abuse, abuse survivor and boom the subject changes. Anyways, I especially relate to her midnights becoming afternoons, complex PTSD often leads to this phenomenon, whether due to purposeful sleep deprivation by the abuser, or just hyper vigilance associated with the PTSD, along with the fear of facing people, especially your loved ones, who
Never actually understand, even if they try, because all they see is you, on fire, screaming about the arsonist that no one ever sees, and who has been spreading lies about your alleged mental instability, deceptive personality, etc. the whole time. While the last thing survivors need is more blame, our society supports a narrative that blames the objectively innocent party because the blatantly guilty party has spent their entire lives fabricating a persona and we’re just being human, and human psychology is quite counterintuitive especially in the context of trauma. Look at Amber Heard. Vilified and not believed, regardless of what any abuse survivor could recognize as a fellow survivor instantly. But Johnny depp is a malignant narcissist, a man, and wealthy as all get out. It’s sick.
Was that somebody screaming
It wasn't me for sure
I lift my head up from uneasy
Pillows
Put my feet on the floor
Cut my wrist on a bad thought
And head for the door
Outside on the pavement
The dark makes no noise
I can feel the sweat on my lips
Leaking into my mouth
I'm heading out for the steep hills
They're leaving me no choice
And see, as our lives are in the making
We believe through the lies and the hating
That love goes free
For want of an option
I run the wind 'round
I dream pictures of houses burning
Never knowing nothing else to do
With death comes the morning
Unannounced and new
Was it too much to ask for
To pull a little weight,
They forgive anything but greatness
These are scoundrel days
And I'm close to calling out their names
As pride hits my face
See, as our lives are in the making
We believe through their lies and the hating
That love goes free through
Scoundrel days
I reach the edge of town
I've got blood in my hair
Their hands touch my body
From everywhere
But I know that I've made it
As I run into the air
And see, as our lives are in the making
We believe through the lies and the hating
That love goes free
Through scoundrel days
It wasn't me for sure
I lift my head up from uneasy
Pillows
Put my feet on the floor
Cut my wrist on a bad thought
And head for the door
Outside on the pavement
The dark makes no noise
I can feel the sweat on my lips
Leaking into my mouth
I'm heading out for the steep hills
They're leaving me no choice
And see, as our lives are in the making
We believe through the lies and the hating
That love goes free
For want of an option
I run the wind 'round
I dream pictures of houses burning
Never knowing nothing else to do
With death comes the morning
Unannounced and new
Was it too much to ask for
To pull a little weight,
They forgive anything but greatness
These are scoundrel days
And I'm close to calling out their names
As pride hits my face
See, as our lives are in the making
We believe through their lies and the hating
That love goes free through
Scoundrel days
I reach the edge of town
I've got blood in my hair
Their hands touch my body
From everywhere
But I know that I've made it
As I run into the air
And see, as our lives are in the making
We believe through the lies and the hating
That love goes free
Through scoundrel days
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Through the lies and the hating
love goes free from scoundrel days