The Reflecting God

"Your world is an ashtray, we burn and coil like cigarettes; the more you cry your ashes turn to mud."

The disintegrator realises that through knowing himself as he became and understanding his own suffering and circumstances, that he could see how the beautiful people felt when they were in rule and doing all the terrible things they were doing.

"Its the nature of the leeches. The virgin's feeling cheated. You've only spent a second of your life."

The disintegrator starts to think that this is just how the world is, not realising that if he had come to grips with his past before all this he would have been able to understand his oppressors and that they could all co-exist all along.

"My world is unaffected. There is an exit here. I'll say it is, and its true."

He doesn't care about how he thinks the world should work. He knows there's another way out, and also that they'll still do what he says.

"There is a dream inside a dream. I'm wide awake the more I sleep. You'll understand when I'm dead."

He seems to realise that his wishes were granted, and that his dreams in the past had been destroyed. Yet, he now believes that if he dreams his dreams now that he can still have what he wants as he is and not what he wanted as he used to be.

And the last line there expresses his realisation that when he's dead--now that he's become such a public figure--he will be idolised and thinks that's the only way people will understand him; just like the dead stars before him.

"I went to god just to see, and I was looking at me. I saw heaven and hell were lies. When I'm god, everyone dies."

He realises that the only person that could've changed his fate in the past was him, which meant to him that in the present he could still forge his own destiny. So he chose to stay with his original wish to destroy their society, and started a genocide of all those who had mistreated him. Since he figured things couldn't get worse for him anyways, and that his "other exit" was his death so it didn't much matter to him anymore; because then at least people who understand him.

"Scar/scar. Can you feel my power? Shoot here, and the world gets smaller. One shot and the world gets smaller."

He takes satisfaction in killing them, but at the same time feels guilty for doing so. And so he even wishes for his own death because his life had become an abominable hell, anyways.

"Let's jump up on the sharp swords and cut away our smiles. Without the threat of death, there's no reason to live at all."

He justifies his genocide, yet enjoys the threat of death; for it makes him feel a reason for living.

"Each thing I show you is a piece of my death. No salvation. No forgiveness. This is beyond your experience."

In his mind, he may understand them; but he realises they don't understand him. That is, until his death. And he knows they won't forgive him, nor will they let him live after all he's done.

"Shoot, shoot, shoot, motherfucker."

At this point, he welcomes his death.