In the Absense of the Sun

Somehow, Duncan wrote this song vicariously for me. I would have gotten around to it, but I'm too busy dealing with the garbage life throws at me. Of course, as most depression does, my plight revolves around a girl. We're dating and I love her, but she doesn't feel the same way. I try to forget it and enjoy the time I have with her, but it's too important to forego the thoughts about it. I think the problem is I talk to her too much. It's just the opposite of this song, actually.

This song is about a relationship that has already broken up. Reflecting on the relationship, he wants to try again, but he remembers what happens ("We just lie about it, as we become shadows of ourselves") He doesn't want to be without her, but he also knows that she doesn't really care about him and that being together wouldn't be any different than before they broke up. He is having a conflict within himself of whether or not the relationship should have another try, and even though it's obvious it won't work, he is still wondering.

Before I was broken up with, I didn't think much on the lyrics of the song. I still loved the song, though, forgot about it for a few years when I lost my "Saint" soundtrack CD, but found it again... it means a lot to me now, because it reminds me of the downwards spiral my relationship was going into before he broke up with me, there was always so much silence and I hated it... a few months later, he has a new girlfriend, and we don't talk at all about the past. I'd like to, but it seems like there's no point to go over those past hurts. (Evidently, the roles are switched for me. smirks a bit) But it's much as Chloe11 said... it won't work if we were to try again, but I'm still hoping...

To me this song reminds me on my ex g/f and how she meant more to me than i meant to her. "I don't want to feel this way, no I don't want to say I'm just a friend. I don't want to wait around here 'Cause you don't want to feel no pain again. And we just lie about it, 'Cause we become shadows of ourselves." to me this describes how i felt when we broke up and she wanted to be friends, which we ended up as but still i loved her and she just looked at me as a friend, to me shadows of ourselves is like the perceptions they each have of each other, which is blurred.

Over two years later, this song has again found its way into defining my problematic love life. Same girl. We've gone through so much since the first time I posted. I have loved her intensely, and she has become a part of everything that I am and everything that I strive to become. Within the last month, however, she broke it off. It didn't register in my brain as a possibility, let alone a reality, but she has already moved on to another guy. And I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to say I'm just a friend.

She is lying to herself, and she is cheating us both out of what we shared. I know that she still loves me, but she's afraid of the pain that we have had to endure due to the distance. And she's doing her best to try to forget the connection and the feelings that accompany our togetherness. I understand exactly why this is happening, and I don't want to look away. I don't want to be the one denied.

I am a shadow of myself without her.

Ever considered having a relationship with your best friend that goes beyond friendship, but then you realise that due to complicated affiliations in your current love life, the 'relationship' just won't work out? I used to think of this song as two lovers who have broken up and one of them can't accept that it's over. Five years later, this song resurfaces and it's appeal is different, the meaning construed in another manner. To me, now, it's like two friends denying that they have feelings for each other so that no other external parties will get hurt by their union.

I dunno, just an idea...

This is one of those songs that you listen to it, and you're like, "Holy crap! He wrote this about ME!" Which is really stupid for me to think, because i've never met Duncan Sheik. But, seriously, who can't relate to this??? anyone who has been in one of those relationships that are becoming worse and worse but you're afraid to let go knows exaclty what Duncan felt while writing the song.

Beautiful song, and poignant since we've all been in this situation at some time or another. I don't mean to belabor the point; the lyrics are pretty straightforward, and there have already been plenty of comments to the point.

My only gripe is with the title: isn't it, "In the Absence of Sun"?

i honestly think about the feelings i feel for one of my best friends when i think of this song. you don't want to be just friends and wish it could be more, but they most likely don't feel the same way. duncan sheik has a way of writing songs that everyone can relate to - this song is definitely one of them.

haha just had the third breakup with this guy and the first stanza is exactly it. "For all the good you say it does, It seems no better when you've had your say. We may believe it's just because The words get colder when you've gone away."

we keep bringing things up about the relationships and having out say about it, especially me, thinking it'll make things better. But it never does.

Pretty sad song. Relate waaay too hard.