I haven't felt so alive in years
The sun is shining down on me
My eyes are welling up with tears
Tears of joy, tears of ecstasy
Emotions I once kept concealed
Now flow freely like a river
Life's great mysteries revealed
Love's great promised delivered
CHORUS
I hate my life I want to die
I was just pretending all this time
A mask I wear so I don't bare
My soul to the cold, harsh world out there
Try to prevail but only fail
Each time on a grander and grander scale
My life is worthless and so am I
I hate my life I want to die
The landscape rises to meet my feet
The sky descends to fill my arms
For once I finally feel complete
For once I know I can't be harmed
All I know is light and love
I feel that I could live forever
While others' troubles seem to grow
I have no problems whatsoever
(Chorus)
The epiphany that came to fall
Finally helped me reconcile
What I felt wasn't joy at all
All this time it was just denial
(Chorus)
The sun is shining down on me
My eyes are welling up with tears
Tears of joy, tears of ecstasy
Emotions I once kept concealed
Now flow freely like a river
Life's great mysteries revealed
Love's great promised delivered
CHORUS
I hate my life I want to die
I was just pretending all this time
A mask I wear so I don't bare
My soul to the cold, harsh world out there
Try to prevail but only fail
Each time on a grander and grander scale
My life is worthless and so am I
I hate my life I want to die
The landscape rises to meet my feet
The sky descends to fill my arms
For once I finally feel complete
For once I know I can't be harmed
All I know is light and love
I feel that I could live forever
While others' troubles seem to grow
I have no problems whatsoever
(Chorus)
The epiphany that came to fall
Finally helped me reconcile
What I felt wasn't joy at all
All this time it was just denial
(Chorus)
Lyrics submitted by gasmask
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
--THANKYOU a23..
you prolly saved my ass more then once
*sigh*.
not to mention that bi-polar is a word that doesn't always refer to bi-polar disorder.... In fact if I remember correctly (which I probably don't) bi-polar can also mean like two things that are opposite each other... kinda like in the song how the chorus is completely different from the rest of the song....
I don't know... just a thought....
not to mention that bi-polar is a word that doesn't always refer to bi-polar disorder.... In fact if I remember correctly (which I probably don't) bi-polar can also mean like two things that are opposite each other... kinda like in the song how the chorus is completely different from the rest of the song....
I don't know... just a thought....
"The landscape rises to meet my feet
The sky descends to fill my arms
For once I finally feel complete
For once I know I can't be harmed"
As anyone in a hypomanic/manic state would tell you, that is basically what it is there. They often will sleep 3 hours a night while in this state. They'll feel extreme grandiousity, as if they're the smartest or most insightful person in the entire world and that they're doing the work of a dozen people.
"I hate my life I want to die
I was just pretending all this time
A mask I wear so I don't bare
My soul to the cold, harsh world out there
Try to prevail but only fail
Each time on a grander and grander scale
My life is worthless and so am I
I hate my life I want to die "
And the hypomanic/manic episode ends. No longer is the sleep cycle at around 3 hours a night. It usually crashes to 8-10+ hours of sleep a day. He makes strides(try to prevail) while his mood is up, but then he doesn't quite get there and in the depressive episode this is seen as an obscene failure. See "Cocoon", another song by him to understand more about his bipolar disorder(it's another song about his dealings with it).
"All I know is light and love
I feel that I could live forever
While others' troubles seem to grow
I have no problems whatsoever"
And the depression ends. He's feeling great again. Most likely sleeping 3 hours a day again. He feels as if he's immortal. These manic episodes are the reason that people with bipolar disorder often discontinue their medications, because this ecstatic high is just too much to leave behind.
"The epiphany that came to fall
Finally helped me reconcile
What I felt wasn't joy at all
All this time it was just denial"
The bipolar cycle continues yet again into depression.
(Note: Most people here do NOT have bipolar disorder. Most people DO feel happy at times and sad at times. This is a severe psychological illness.)
It's a lot like schizophrenia as well, with paranoid delusions and mood swings.