Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

I see this song as about disillusionment that the real world brings about as you get older and realize that the wild, romantic dreams you had during your youth were unrealistic. I don't think her husband's a jerk, just a little thoughtless. And I don't think she's miserable, just a little wistful and yearning for the "old days."

The first verse is set either before they're married or when they're newlyweds. They speak of romantic adventures and riding off into the sunset. They're young, they're naive, they're discussing their future together. They can go anywhere in his '56 Chevy.

In the second verse, they've settled in to married life and she's trying to help him relax after a hard day's work. She suggests he watch TV, she'll make supper and some coffee, and maybe rub his back and enjoy a romantic evening with him. She may have given up on her dreams for now, but she's still hoping to reignite the spark in their relationship.

She's still trying to bring back the passion they once had in the bridge, where she buys a new dress, but he still doesn't notice anything.

Finally, in the third verse, we come to her present situation. We don't know how many children they have, but judging from the second verse that says "I will raise the children," they probably have at least three after the rival of "another baby." They sell the Chevy, which is the last thing remaining from the carefree days of their youth. Because of this, and the fact that he had to take a job in another state, suggests that they've fallen on hard times. But while she stays home, doing the housework and taking care of the kids, he, at least, gets to have a social life. Her disillusionment is complete; life may be comfortable, but it is no longer exciting.

The way she says "while you go have a beer" sounds almost scornful. Also, notice that in this chorus, there is no "I'll do this if you'll do that." She no longer feels that she can rely on him, and perhaps she no longer wants to. But someone has to take care of the kids, and she probably can't afford daycare, and if they've moved to another state, she probably has no family nearby to help her. She's "stuck," more or less, at least until the kids are old enough to stay home by themselves. And by now, the question "Where have all the cowboys gone?" is rhetorical. She knows by now that there were never any "cowboys" to begin with. They were part of a childish, and later escapist, fantasy, where the good guys always won and the campfire never went out.

Some people think of this song as anti-feminist, but I don't think that's necessarily so. It reminds me of Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique," which explored the depression that often set in after middle-class women married. They supposedly had everything they wanted--a man to pay the bills, a baby or two, a comfortable house, and plenty of free time once the housework was complete, but they still felt unfulfilled. Like the woman in this song, these women longed for something more. And I like to think that the woman in this song went on to carve out her own identity, apart from her husband. This doesn't mean that her "goodbye" was literal, that she left him. But it means she has begun to look to herself for a way to live a fulfilling life. It may not be the life of cowboys and happy endings that she dreamed of in her early adulthood, but it will be one that is more meaningful than what she has now.