"Spaceboy" as written by and William Patrick Corgan....
Feel it
Break your bones
Mr. Jones

Taste me
As I bleed
Taste my need

Spaceboy I've missed you
Spinning round my head
Any way you choose me
You'll break instead

Watch me
Death defy
Defile my life

I don't need
I don't care

I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
'Cause when a lover aches
'Cause when a lover breaks
I want to go home
I want to go home

Spaceboy they'll kill me
Before I'm dead and gone
And any way you choose me
It won't be wrong
And any way you choose me
We won't be long

We won't be long
We won't be long
We won't be long
We won't be long
We won't be long

Lyrics submitted by Ice

"Space Boy" as written by William Patrick Corgan

Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

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Spaceboy song meanings
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  • +6
    General CommentHere's an archive from the newspaper or something like that, also got this from blamo.org

    "He's My Brother"
    by Beth Wilson

    There were divorces. Money was tight. You could say the Corgan boys grew
    up knowing hardship. Yet, today Billy is a rock star and, despite
    numerous disabilities, Jesse finished school, got a job and is writing
    plays. Here is their story.

    If you know Billy Corgan, it's probably Billy Corgan the rock star, the
    voice and driving force behind the Smashing Pumpkins, one of the
    nation's top alternative rock bands.

    It's the Billy Corgan who, in the hit "Disarm" raises his voice in
    anger, then softly pleads for understanding and compassion.

    It's the Billy Corgan who, as the song builds to a crescendo, reveals,
    "I used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes."

    That's the Billy Corgan most people know -- the man with the sold-out
    concerts, the man publicized in Rolling Stone magazine, the man with the
    triple platinum albums.

    But there's another Billy Corgan that few people see. That's the Billy
    Corgan who made it through a rugged childhood in a broken home while
    helping to raise a younger, disabled half brother named Jesse, once
    diagnosed by doctors as having "no potential".

    Today, Jesse is a high-school graduate, works part time and attends
    College of DuPage. In his spare time, he writes plays.

    It's late Friday morning when Billy Corgan walks into a tiny North Side
    Chicago diner after parking his black Mercedes outside.

    At more than 6 feet tall, he ducks in the door, quickly surveys the
    crowd and sits down.

    That Smashing Pumpkins have just come off a series of four sold-out
    benefit concerts at the Double Door in Chicago. Previewing material for
    the upcoming double album, the Pumpkins donated part of the
    proceeds to the Western DuPage Special Recreation Association -- a group
    to which Billy's brother Jesse belongs.

    Jesse was born with mild cerebral palsy that caused him to walk on his
    toes, and Tourette's syndrome (a neurological disorder that can cause
    nonsensical or uncontrolled speech). He also had heart problems and
    a chromosomal disorder that caused him to be slower than the other

    Those kids, naturally, made fun of him, but Billy was usually nearby to
    look out for him.

    "It comes with a lot of mixed feelings," said Billy, 28, of his role in
    raising Jesse. "I just did it because it was the right thing to do. I
    just accepted it as the way things were."

    As kids, he remembers always being with Jesse. A member of the junior
    high basketball team, Billy would play sports for hours on end. He
    brought Jesse, who played in a nearby sandbox.

    Some boys wanted to know who the "retard kid" was. "That's my brother,"
    Billy would tell them.

    Jesse looked different and had difficulty talking. At times, his speech
    was garbled, indecipherable to anyone but Billy, who tried to teach him
    to speak more clearly.

    "I saw how cruel people really are," said Billy, whose parents divorced
    when he was 3. "If you can't find it in your heart to love someone like
    this...well," he pauses. "The world is so petty. So damned petty."

    Although the experience gave Billy a strong sense of individuality and
    determination, it also left him alone-and angry.

    "Taking care of my brother, I missed out on a lot," he said. "I never
    seemed to fit in. But it made me try to strive for things ten times

    Billy taught Jesse how to play baseball near Marquardt Middle School in
    Glendale Heights and read him books at night before they fell asleep.

    Occasionally, in the middle of the night, Jesse would wake up and then
    go back to sleep on the floor by his brother's bed until Billy would
    wake up and let him in.

    Says Billy's stepmother, Penny Andersen: "He became to Jesse what he
    would have wanted in a father."

    As an honor student at Glenbard North High School, Billy said he didn't
    have much of a social life. He felt isolated and resentful.

    "Most kids with my kind of energy don't sit in the house and take care
    of kids," Billy said.

    Music was Billy's escape. He played guitar and dreamed of becoming a
    rock star.

    "I just started dreaming this elaborate dream," he said. "It made life
    more bearable."

    Then, Billy thought, he would be rich, famous, beautiful and accepted.

    Although he struggles to talk about his troubled youth ("I've blocked a
    lot of it out"), the emotion often propels and pierces through his

    Writing "Siamese Dream" a 1993 CD that sold more than 3 million copies,
    Corgan said he collected thoughts about his own life, selected the most
    embarrassing lines and used them.

    Lines like "I'm all by myself as I've always felt" and "We don't

    The result was an album that catapulted Corgan and the Pumpkins into the
    national spotlight. The music ranges from driving, bass-propelled
    mosh-pit favorites to soft, light, beautiful melodies-often with songs
    containing a mixture of both.

    After Billy Corgan's parents were divorced, Billy and his brother Ricky
    were shuffled between households. They ended up living with their father
    when he remarried.

    But that marriage, which produced half brother Jesse, was rocky, too.
    His father, a guitar player, spent a lot of time on the road.

    When the couple finally separated, the three children, Billy, 11, Ricky,
    9, and Jesse, 2, continued living with Jesse's mother, Penny.

    "I was terrified," Penny remembers.

    There she was with two kids who weren't biologically her own, and
    another with multiple disabilities and hefty medical bills.

    She spent a good deal of time in and out of doctors' offices with Jesse,
    who nearly died during heart surgery at the age of 4 months. The
    diagnoses were often grim or wrong, she said.

    "Unfortunately, I leaned on Billy," she said. "Billy had a lot to handle
    as a young man."

    Worried about what would happen if she lost her job as a flight
    attendant, she went to school full-time to pursue a college degree.

    Needless to say, money was tight. In the evenings, sometimes Penny
    brought home dinner. Sometimes they had macaroni and cheese. Sometimes

    "It was always Kmart," she said.

    Answering the door to his Glen Ellyn home, Jesse is happy, polite and

    He likes his job. He sorts laundry at the Oakbrook Hyatt and visits a
    mentally retarded man in his home once a week.

    Sometimes this weekend, he'll have to study for his history class at
    College of DuPage. He's also taking driving lessons.

    Clutching a can of Canfield's soda, Jesse, 19, talks with ease about his
    life and relationship with his famous brother.

    "We've been through a lot," he said. "He's just a great brother to

    Although Penny says Jesse may not fully comprehend his complex
    disabilities or accomplishments, others do.

    "No one in our family would be as special without Jesse," Penny said.
    "You can be born with so little and achieve so much. He's been an

    Growing up, he gradually learned to speak more fluently around his
    family, but friends made him nervous. "I'd have a normal conversation
    with him," Penny said. Then outside around his peers, Jesse would say,
    "Oh, it's going to snow tomorrow," and it was June, Penny said.

    The more the kids made fun of him, the more he withdrew. "I just kept it
    to myself," Jesse says now. "I just got quiet, you know."

    But in school, Jesse continued to surprise everyone.

    A one-time honor roll student at Hadley Junior High School in Glen
    Ellyn, Jesse graduated from Glenbard West High School with more credits
    than necessary.

    In high school, Jesse began to open up. There he made his own circle of
    friends and enjoyed Billy's newfound fame.

    "Kids who would call him retard now said 'Hey J-man, how's it going?"
    Penny said.

    Billy's success made some students give Jesse a chance. And once they
    got to know him, they liked him, Penny said.

    Although Jesse struggled his senior year with fears of leaving high
    school, he, like his brothers, has developed his own creative outlet.

    Billy writes songs, Ricky is an artist, and Jesse, it turns out, loves
    acting. He joined the acting troupe at the Western DuPage Special
    Recreation Association, and then began to write his own plays.

    He wrote in study hall, at home, anywhere. When a thought hit Jesse,
    he'd write it on a scrap of paper. Pretty soon, scraps of paper were all
    over the house.

    Jesse says he'd shut himself in his room, writing three scenes in one
    sitting. Describing the plots, Jesse quickly becomes absorbed.

    In the "Haunted Sleep Over", a group of teen-agers spend a night in a
    haunted mansion.

    In his second play, "Phantom of the Hoosiers," set at Indiana
    University, one character is disfigured, similar to the character in
    "Phantom of the Opera."

    The latter play, performed by the recreation association's acting
    troupe, received two standing ovations.

    In the audience, not only were there childhood neighbors from Glendale
    Heights, but also his brother Billy.

    "I'm so proud of him," Billy said. "He's just so damned determined. I
    take a lot of inspiration from that."

    At one time tentative on stage, Jesse, whose most visible disability is
    evident in his speech, is now one of the most confident. He faces the
    audience, speaks clearly, remembers his lines and coaches others.

    "I am more confident," said Jesse. "Ten years ago, I would never had
    done that."

    And, as he gets older, he and Billy have more in common.

    "We're both pretty creative," Jesse said. "We both like to do things to
    entertain people."

    Jesse says fame hasn't changed Billy, except that he cut his once
    shoulder-length hair. Jesse likes going to the Pumpkins' concerts and
    staying in the VIP section, or the "safety zone," as he calls it. "I
    don't want to get moshed on."

    He also enjoys hearing the song "Spaceboy," which Billy wrote for Jesse.

    "I'm the only one at the concerts," he said, "who gets teary-eyed."

    The brothers are grown now. Billy's married and Jesse has his own life.
    Their conversations are more of the man-to-man variety. Jesse needs a
    friend more than a father figure. "When someone has so many
    needs," Billy said, "it's an awkward transition not to be needed like
    that anymore. I felt a bit rejected."

    Regardless, Billy said he's trying to ease his paternal instinct with
    Jesse. But it's hard.

    "I'm still telling him what to do and he's still ignoring me," Billy
    laughs. "I hope to grow beyond that."
    Love is suicide...on April 03, 2006   Link
  • +2
    General Commenterm, isn't the term "retarded" a bit harsh?
    ladyboygrrlon March 22, 2003   Link
  • +2
    General CommentFor those who said this song was about and for Billy's brother is correct. Now, in response to what y2doggy asks about the line "we won't belong," I remember reading somewhere that as children and as adolescents, Billy considered both himself and his brother as outcasts. Billy didn't belong because he was emotionally different from other children (i.e. he was always sad, etc) and his brother didn't belong for the obvious physical characteristics of his disease/illness.
    EmptyPromiseon March 29, 2005   Link
  • +2
    General CommentGot this from blamo.org:

    This is a song on Siamese Dream. Billy wrote this for his little disabled brother, Jesse. It's a very quiet song also.

    Here is an Article about Spaceboy and Billy's Brother.

    Here is what Billy said about Spaceboy.
    "That’s about my little brother. He’s an interesting character. It’s kind of about how he’s different. He has physical handicap, it’s hard to explain. He has a rare chromosomal disorder, it gives him a some what different genetic make up. He has different physical and mental problems and yet somehow by all accounts, I’m physically and mentally OK. But I feel our lives are the similar. (Similar in the way that we are both) Freaks of nature, freaks of society, I always keep going back to something by Henry Miller. No matter how much he smiled, told jokes, shook hands, patted people on the back. People still looked at him funny, they still sensed
    something wasn’t right. I’ve always felt that way, that no matter how normal I appear, I was treated differently.
    Love is suicide...on April 03, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Commentyeah, y2doggy, this song is about his little brother, who was retarded or something. Billy C. said it was his most personal song. (thanks b.w.)
    egut521on July 10, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General CommentSorry for the excessively long post, just had to clear things up. You people will probably hate me for it, but just trying to help out. There's an odd conversation at the end of Spaceboy... On some CDs, it appears at the beginning of Silverfuck,
    although the Siamese Dream tab book makes it clear that it belongs at the end of Spaceboy...

    "Now it's, uh, kind of strange, and, uh, kinda hard for me to talk about, but I thought maybe you could
    help- um, when we start getting physical, rather than having intercourse, he ends up just masturbating
    himself, and I end up feeling very alienated and unsatisfied, and it's really come between us"

    Well, that's a rather candid monologue... [!] This seems to be from some talk show or something- in the tab book, Billy said it was from an anonymous source, and that he couldn't say where it was from, for fear of being sued. I've heard that this dialogue came from HBO's Real Sex program. In this interview I recorded from 107.7 The End in Seattle, Billy said that the conversation at the end of Spaceboy...well here I'll just write it word for word:
    Guy: asks what it is
    Billy: (Chuckles) Um, it's just this weird thing I found. It's just this woman talking about her husband masturbating himself... I thought it was funny. (Laughs, audience laughs) Its really that simple.
    Love is suicide...on April 03, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentTheres some footage of him dedicating the song to his brother on youtube if you look for the live version of the song.
    Ramshackle90on April 24, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI heard that Billy wrote this song for his little brother who was either mentally or physically handicapped. I'm trying to figure out if he's writing it from his brother's perspective ..."we won't belong"???...or what. anyone have any idea?
    y2doggyon May 27, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIt's a sad song. I don't think it's from his brother's perspective at that part, but I think he relates to him. Maybe he doesn't feel as if he fits in either.
    wolfperson1on April 29, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHe is writing from "their" perspective, thus the "we".
    alimaniaon June 14, 2003   Link

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