I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket
I want a girl who gets up early (gets up early)
I want a girl who stays up late (stays up late)
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity (uninterrupted)
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape
With fingernails (hey), that shine like justice (ho)
And a voice that is dark (hey), like tinted glass (ho)
She is fast (hey), thorough, and sharp as a tack (ho)
She is touring the facility (hey) and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
I want a girl with a smooth liquidation (smooth liquidation)
I want a girl with good dividends (good dividends)
At Citibank, we will meet accidentally (meet accidentally)
We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car (hey) with a cup holder armrest (ho)
She wants a car (hey) that will get her there (ho)
She's changing her name (hey)
From Kitty to Karen (ho)
She's trading her MG (hey) for a white Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, jacket
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket
I want a girl who gets up early (gets up early)
I want a girl who stays up late (stays up late)
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity (uninterrupted)
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape
With fingernails (hey), that shine like justice (ho)
And a voice that is dark (hey), like tinted glass (ho)
She is fast (hey), thorough, and sharp as a tack (ho)
She is touring the facility (hey) and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
I want a girl with a smooth liquidation (smooth liquidation)
I want a girl with good dividends (good dividends)
At Citibank, we will meet accidentally (meet accidentally)
We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car (hey) with a cup holder armrest (ho)
She wants a car (hey) that will get her there (ho)
She's changing her name (hey)
From Kitty to Karen (ho)
She's trading her MG (hey) for a white Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, jacket
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
La-la la-la la-la
La-la la-la la, la
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I've always thought this song was satirizing corporate culture and the American lifestyle, and making a point of how they can suck the fun out of people.
The girl in the song is "changing her name from Kitty to Karen" (presumably because "Karen" is more conservative and professional-sounding) and trading in her European sports car for a white, American model with little character (but with cup holders for her morning commute!). Her life seems to be focused entirely on her career ("touring the facility and picking up slack", working long hours, dealing with red tape, and managing her finances).
Notice how her personality is never even mentioned in the song? The girl has "a mind like a diamond", "uninterrupted prosperity", jewelry, and shiny nails, but McCrea never mentions what she's like as a person. I think he's making the point that people tend to focus very heavily on others' monetary success, but they tend to forget things like, say...what they're actually like as people.
This song obviously relies very heavily on irony. It's pretty clear to me that he's using it to make a point; he doesn't actually want a girl who spends all her time working. Cake are known for their hatred of commercialism and corporate bloat, so it would be very out of character for them to idealize such a conservative and money-focused businessperson.
@quas I think you're drawing the wrong comparison - I think the comparison is between things that are traditionally considered sexy (great breasts) with things that are responsible and mature (great dividends). I think the joke is that what he finds sexy at this point in his life is a girl who has her crap together. I think its supposed to be a positive thing, not negative. A love song by somebody in their 30's rather than somebody in their 20's. That's the joke.
@quas " but McCrea never mentions what she's like as a person."<br /> He specifically mentions she's thorough, which is a personality trait. But generally yes, there's little to do with personality directly. You can however deduce things about her personality from her decisions. She "uses a machete to cut through red tape", which only certain personality types can do. She "knows what's best", not believes, knows. She traded in an MG which looks cool for one that has the largest trunk space in it's class*. <br /> <br /> <br />