Pennyroyal Tea

Alright, so I'm going to give my schpeel on this, and I'm surprised no one has come up with this idea about this song before. I also think this song is about his stomach problems, but it’s a lot deeper than that. This song is purely about heroin, not only from a lyrical standpoint, but also a musical standpoint. I had a REALLY great post written up on this before I pressed refresh on accident a couple of days ago, but bear with me…

The verses are him explaining the reasons he feels the need to do heroin,

The chorus is about doing heroin and how he feels on it.

"I'm on my time with everyone, I have very bad posture."

This line representing two of his insecurities leading him to do heroin: The first is about his problems with pressures of being a rock star. Everyone’s expecting great things out of him, done within a time limit. He’s expected to go to concerts and do an amazing job constantly. You’ve got to think where he’s coming from. He started out some 16/18 year old kid who thought being a rock star would be a release from all of his problems and he’d finally be happy, but really there’s even more pressure than there was before.

The second refers to problems he has with self-image.

I also think these first two verses are actually about why he started using heroin in the first place.

So, he picks up his needle…

“Sit and drink Pennyroyal tea” This is a metaphor for him doing heroin.

“Distill the life that’s inside of me” This is him saying how heroin makes him feel alive and rid of his troubles, also relieving his stomach problems.

“I’m anemic royalty” He feels like he’s the ruler of his disease (stomach problems and depression) when he’s on heroin. I don’t know personally, but maybe long-term, heavy heroin use could cause anemia?

“Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld, so I can sigh eternally.” Sadly, this line is about suicide. This line is about why he attempts to overdose on heroin. He’s an extremely depressed person, and he’s hoping that on the other side it’s a lot happier. If you don’t know, Leonard wrote very happy music, and I think this is what Kurt saw “the other side” as.

“I’m so tired, I can’t sleep.” Saying he’s tired, but he can’t sleep because of heroin withdrawal.

“I’m a liar and a thief.” He’s lying to everyone around him and continuing his heroin use because the pain when he’s off of it is unbearable. He’s a thief because he feels like he’s stealing money from Kris and Dave by forcing the record company to give him a bigger percentage of the royalties so he can keep up his expensive habit.

Now the next part is the big part of why I think this is about heroin. Also, this is why you have to listen to the music to know what this song is about. In the acoustic version of the song, he slows down considerably during the third verse, and sounds completely hopeless in his vocals. Then the song picks up into the chorus (which is about him doing and during heroin) on a happier, more hopeful sounding chord.

“I’m on warm milk and laxative, cherry flavored antacids.” These are the things he has to take when he’s off of heroin to help with his stomach problems. However, they just don’t have the same effect and he feels they’re worthless. So he once again picks up his needle…

The second reason I got the idea that this song is about heroin is the outro in the original take on In Utero. I think the outro is about the way him coming down from heroin. It starts out loud, with a heavily distorted guitar, slows down the whole way, and eventually the distortion is turned off, which is also present in the whole song. The verses, while he’s off of it are clean, and the chorus, while he’s on it, has distortion. If you listen to it, it makes a lot of sense.

Sorry for the in-depth post, but I think this is possibly the smartest, deepest, and most emotional song Kurt wrote, besides maybe All Apologies. If you can’t tell, I’m pretty passionate about this song :P.