Somewhere, deep in the slow eternal dance of the Heavens,
Drifts a planet simply called "Earth"
And among the otherwise unremarkable population
Of this planet are two incredible heroes,
Destined to save the future... from itself!

Hey Ninja Brian, I made a time machine space ship...
You wanna go on it? Yeah, okay, cool!

Soaring through the galaxy
The stars and sky align
The speed of light's for pussies
We're going at the speed of Brian

We're flying towards the sexual peak
Of history and time
Computer, set a sexy course for the sexiest year: 6969

I've got my spacesuit
And 90 pounds of space lube

Crossing through into a fuckin' wormhole
Beyond the Milky Way
That shit's far!
To a time of Earth so far in the future
Where everyone gets laid
Twice as hard

We're noble knights of honor on a
Fierce and sultry butt crusade
Here we are!

Open the bay doors
And let's live the dream
Given the world a double team
I bet it's a billion person orgy
In an ocean of whipped cream!

Wait, this place isn't sexy at all...
And this robot sign
Says human touch has been outlawed!

I can't believe my eyes, but it's a world without sex
Everyone here just wears full length pants
And loose fitting turtlenecks
Men and women wave to each other
From a respectable distance

Without the thrill of boning, what is life?
We must speak to the council of dick elders tonight

Excuse me, dick elders?
[Elder] What do you want?

I know it's most unusual to come before you so
But the Planet Earth sucks balls
Now that no one's allowed to bone
We've come from the pass to introduce you to ass

[Elder] Wait you're Ninja Sex Party!
You will ruin our plans!
If people have sex they'll break our thousand year spell
There will be a revolution
And they'll think for themselves
We control this planet of unsatisfied wood
Oh, why does being evil always feel so damn good?!

We'll make it right
Get ready for a sexy fight
My dick's the spark of hope
And a revolution shall ignite, tonight!

We're taking flight, we have to find a girl
[Elder] Shoot, the fucking lasers
Shoot the fucking lasers at 'em
And show her what it means to love
And fix this broken world
[Elder] All the fuckin' lasers,
All the fuckin' lasers at 'em
The new sex king will rule
Let the boner banners be unfurled

Ninja Brian, look at that girl with the sad eyes
And the beautiful blonde hair I'M IMMEDIATELY IN LOVE

She's spent her life all alone,
Wanna take her to the bone zone
Make her feel the pleasure of my naughty treasures

I can't believe my eyes,
But you're the girl of my dreams
Let's both tear all of our clothes off
Like two pants-hating wolverines
The love we make will save the earth
From this oppressive dick regime

We're having sex now!
To change the world (WOO!)
You brought three friends now
Oh shit they're girls!

I think it's obvious that peoplel iked our sexy show
A multi-billion person orgy
Has broken out all across the globe
The human race, much like my junk
Will now be free to grow

But what about the elders
We tore their world to shreds
Maybe they'll be cool with it
Oh hey Dick Elders, how's it going
[Elder] You two are fucking DEAD!!!!!

So much for that, it's time to put on pants
And run away from their death army
Which is starting to advance

[Elder] Shoot the fuckin' lasers,
Way more fuckin' lasers at 'em
We can't die we're way too young
And there's so many girls to ball
[Elder] Shoot the fuckin' lasers
Way more fuckin' lasers at 'em
But now we're cornered with our backs against the wall

[Elder] It's over, Danny Sexbang, your time has come
But first we're gonna take care of your ninja friend here

God damn Brian!
You killed them all
Now the empire will fall
I have to say in retrospect
That was easier than I thought

Our work here's done, the future is secure
But my girl and I'll have one last
Farewell slam just to be sure
For underneath those rockin' boobs
Lies a heart that is so pure

Take care of this world for me, my darling
I will always love you. What is your name by the way?
Kristen? Ah, what a beautiful name
Until that glorious day, when we meet again, Katie, farewell.

Now let us fly into the night sky
And we'll raise a glass to ass
In a final goodbye
To 6969

Let us be gone
Our quest is life long
It's a sexy destiny
So let's rock the fuck on!


Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.

Lyrics submitted by warpseven

6969 song meanings
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