Party Mom and Invisible Dad

The pattern of family life in America has undergone radical changes.
Does this mean that the family, as an institution, is on the wane?
In search of an answer, let us take a closer look at family life today.
Let me set the tone,
Imagine, if you will, a group of kids
Just left alone.
Mom's in the bathroom, trying not to throw up
Daddy's on the phone, but we've never seen him close up
Some guy's passed out sleeping on the sofa,
When you need a ride home, no one ever shows up
Wake up your brother, get your mother to bed
Spread some peanut butter on some Wonderbread
And when it gets too crazy, duck and cover your head
Once you get used to it, it isn't so bad!
You may get a chuckle or a cynical laugh,
It's The Adventures Of Party Mom and The Invisible Dad.
She boils your clothes, and goes out with your friends
"What's the matter, honey, are you pouting again?"
The old man left for a beer and a pack of smokes,
We thought it was weird when he packed all his clothes
Play a classic show, Mom had a Jack & Coke and burned the casserole
The suspense, and the horror, it may make you gasp.
You'll wonder for days, "will he ever come back?"
The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad:
It's The Adventures Of Party Mom and The Invisible Dad.
When they first got married, they weren't old enough
To settle down and sober up
You'd think by now, they'd grown up enough
When they first had children, you couldn't find them better care
A father who was never there,
While mother passed out everywhere
Learn to cook your own meals,
See how being alone feels,
Watch as you reach deeper states of denial
Dishes are dirty, plates in the pile
Mom's in the bathroom, laying on the tile
Haven't seen Daddy's face in awhile
The suspense, and the horror, it may make you gasp.
You wonder for days, "Will he ever come back?"
The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad:
It's The Adventures Of Party Mom and The Invisible Dad.
When they first got married, they weren't old enough
To settle down and sober up
You'd think by now, they'd grow up enough
When they first had children, you couldn't find them better care
A father who was unprepared
While mom left bottles everywhere
When Daddy comes around, he can't keep our names straight
Thinks we're in the same grade we've been since age eight
Crying in your underoos,
"It's not because of you -- it's about your mother, too."
Weighed down by hundreds of issues and episodes,
You can search through the wreckage for little collectibles!
The suspense, and the horror, it may make you gasp.
Wonder for days, "Will he ever come back?"
The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad:
It's The Adventures Of Party Mom and The Invisible Dad.
The family, as an institution, has changed greatly... but it still carries on its essential function: reproduction, and the care and socialization of the young. As long as it maintains these functions, it will continue to flourish.