Funky Oswald – No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

Little Betty Sue is waking up
And decides it's time to see the world
She is truly determined to reach the top
She's gonna be a cover girl

She meets a man in the game who says he'll get her a shot
She only needs to moonlight at this club he's got

Ain't got a clue?
Here's a hunch
There is no such thing as a free lunch

John Thomas Something III was of respectable breed
Old money and a powerful name
But alas the boy had inappropriate needs
So all of that went down the drain

He did one free line and found it wasn't enough
And now he's upgraded to the heavier stuff

Ain't got a clue?
Here's a hunch
There is no such thing as a free lunch

There is no such thing (no such thing)
No such thing (no such thing)
No such thing (no such thing)
There is no such thing as a free lunch

Johnny Warez was the wizard supreme
Cyberspace was all he knew
In a raunchy little chatroom was the girl of his dreams
So he signed up with his Amex Blue

Now all his gear's repossessed, man that Meat space is hard
With a fifty grand debit to your credit card

Ain't got a clue?
Here's a hunch
There is no such thing as a free lunch

There is no such thing (no such thing)
No such thing (no such thing)
No such thing (no such thing)
There is no such thing as a free lunch