If and When I Die

No one is invincible
No one is immortal
These are the rules
Fireworks have scared me shitless
For three years now
Easier to blame it neuroses
Than admit that everything
Loud and sudden scares me
But I found out
That I still love
The sight of them
When the light of the setting sun
Came through the leaves
In scattered shards
I was driving down the highway
With my secrets
No one is invincible
No one is immortal
This time of year always reminds me of Mitch
At noon in the shade
There's still dew on the grass
The leaves are trying on
The coats they'll wear to the funerals
And without knowing it
As if it's coded into me
I start to listen to "People Without End"
The ways in which one leaves a place
And the way a ghost becomes a part of you
And some days this reminds me more of Kyle
Than anything else,
And the times we spent wishing for the past
I think I'm through with that now
I've got holes in me big enough
That sometimes I can barely stay afloat
But I'm starting to worry
That nothingness has the potential
To be filled
With anything that our minds can imagine
Everyone here's story has been
Everyone here's story since the Big Bang
And no, I'm not talking about your parents fucking
Or their parents' parents' parents fucking
I'm talking about that things inside of you
Cannot be created or destroyed anymore
Not since this universe started
And not until it fucking ends
That's how long we're going to live
So if my body decides to become something more
Burn it
Let the liquid in me dry up
Let it crack like the leaves coating the driveway
Of the house I grew up in
Divide me among the people I love
And ask them this:
On the day they find a place
Where stars are safe from everything
But the brightness of the moon
Scatter my ashes there
So that that from which I came
Can witness that which I've become
No one is invincible
Everyone is immortal
No one is invincible
Everyone is immortal
(If false and naive ideals
Will keep us working
Sustained by people like you
Like a televised old story
Maybe that is what one
Is meant to have
Sucking from the maimed and the crazed)