Oh, Carissa when I first saw you
You were a lovely child
And the last time I saw you
You were 15 and pregnant and running wild

I remember wondering could there be a light at the end of your tunnel
But I left Ohio then and had pretty much forgotten all about you
I guess you were there some years ago at a family funeral
But you were one of so many relatives I didn't know which one was you

Yesterday morning I woke up to so many 330 area code calls
I called my mom back and she was in tears and asked had I spoke to my father
Carissa burned to death last night in a freak accident fire
In her yard in Brewster her daughter came home from a party and found her

Same way as my uncle who was her grandfather
An aerosol can blew up in the trash, goddamn what were the odds?
She was just getting ready to go to her midnight shift as an RN in Wadsworth
Then she vanished up in flames like that but there had to be more to her life's worth
Everyone's grieving out of their minds making arrangements and taking drugs
But I'm flying out there tomorrow because I need to give and get some hugs
Cause I got questions that I'd like to get answered
I may never get them, but Carissa I gotta know how did it happen?

Carissa was 35
You don't just raise two kids, and take out your trash and die
She was my second cousin, I didn't know her well at all
But that doesn't mean that I wasn't
Meant to find some poetry to make some sense of this, to find a deeper meaning
In this senseless tragedy, oh Carissa I'll sing your name across every sea

Were you doing someone else's chores for them?
Were you just killing time finding things to do all by your lonesome?
Was it even you mistakenly putting flammables in the trash?
Was it your kids just being kids, if so the guilt they will carry around forever
Well I'm going out there to get a look at the landscapes
To get a look at those I'm connected by blood and see how it all may have shaped me
Well I'm going out there, though I'm not really needed
I'm just so broken up about it, how is it this sad history repeated?

I'll return to Ohio
To the place I was spawned
Going to see where I hung with my cousins and played with them in the snow and fished in their ponds
Going to see how they've grown
Visit some graves and say "Hey I've missed you"
Going to find out as much as I can about my little second cousin Carissa

Gonna go to Ohio
Where I was born
Got a 10:45 AM flight, I'm leaving tomorrow morning
Gonna see my aunts and uncles, my parents and sisters
Mostly I'm going to pay my respects to my little second cousin Carissa
Going to Ohio where I feel I belong
Ask those who know the most about Carissa for it is her life and death that I'm helplessly drawn

Carissa was 35
Raised kids when she was 15 years old and suddenly died
Next to an old brick fire pit, oh there's gotta be more than that to it
She was only my second cousin
But that don't mean that I'm not here for her or that I wasn't
Meant to give her life poetry
To make sure her name is known across every sea


Lyrics submitted by acw, edited by tequileros97

Carissa song meanings
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13 Comments

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  • +3
    General Comment
    davidlewison March 10, 2014   Link
  • +1
    Memory

    Not too long ago, a kid that I had AP Economics with died from exposure because he was drunk and left the party he was at without a coat. I didn't talk to him at all, but I was really saddened when I heard the news. How could this kid, who seemingly had a lot of potential and a lot of friends, die so frivolously? It made me think about my mortality and how fickle it really is. Kozolek did have much more of a connection with Carissa than I did with whom i'm referring, but I bring up my anecdote to show just how strong empathy can be with people we only tangentially know.

    FrazTHeon July 17, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Such a bleak, bittersweet song. A resigned tone that comes through more in the guitar than the thoroughly real lyrics. Hell of a song.

    But I'm flying out there tomorrow because I need to give and get some hugs Cause I got questions that I'd like to get answered I may never get them, but Carissa I gotta know how did it happen?

    therevival44on December 05, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Oh my, the first song I heard from Mark Kozelek and it hit me right away. I was thinking about so many accidents we can read about in news or watch on TV and we just kinda accept it. But this song paints so vividly one life and it reminded me that behind headline there is someone's daughter, son, brother, cousin, a person. It helped me not to take anyone's life for granted. Beautiful.

    WildFoxon July 12, 2016   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song means a lot to me it reminds me of distant family. Those weird bonds where well they always exist and stay. It’s family. A thing beyond most all things. It’s far for long then close. I have cousins so close and so far weddings are nuts with invo’s but it’s not quite Carissa. I want to love everyone. And I half love everyone. And I full love carissa. She has been remembered. I’ll be quarter remembered at best. For real, I think I’ll be dead soon I talk shot I think I’ll be an eighth remembered at best not ten posts remembered. Ps I’ll be dead soon.

    iLikeIton April 14, 2022   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song means a lot to me it reminds me of distant family. Those weird bonds, where well they always exist and stay. It’s family. A thing beyond most all things. It’s far for long then close. I have cousins so close and so far weddings are nuts with invo’s but it’s not quite Carissa. I want to love you. But my mom is close to Alzheimer’s now forgetting stuff. Tragedy presages other tragedy. I’m as lost as anyone. Life is loss of something.

    iLikeIton April 14, 2022   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song means a lot to me it reminds me of distant family. Those weird bonds where well they always exist and stay. It’s family. A thing beyond most all things. It’s far for long then close. I have cousins so close and so far weddings are nuts with invo’s but it’s not quite Carissa.

    iLikeIton April 14, 2022   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song means a lot to me it reminds me of distant family. Those weird bonds where well they always exist and stay. It’s family. A thing beyond most all things. It’s far for long then close. I have cousins so close and so far weddings are nuts with invo’s but it’s not quite Carissa. I want to Clench to us all. Cling to everyone if only for a couple days. We have weird rich weddings and I like to drink.

    iLikeIton April 14, 2022   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song means a lot to me it reminds me of distant family. Those weird bonds where well they always exist and stay. It’s family. A thing beyond most all things. It’s far for long then close. I have cousins so close and so far weddings are nuts with invo’s but it’s not quite Carissa. I want to To be close with those that are far. Someday we’ll all be us.

    iLikeIton April 14, 2022   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song means a lot to me it reminds me of distant family. Those weird bonds where well they always exist and stay. It’s family. A thing beyond most all things. It’s far for long then close. I have cousins so close and so far weddings are nuts with invo’s but it’s not quite Carissa. I want to To be close with those that are far. Someday we’ll all be us.

    iLikeIton April 14, 2022   Link

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