Cigarette Daydreams

I believe that this song is actually discussing suicide. I know there is another person interprets it as the struggle with a mental disease, and that could be a part of it, but I really think that this is about someone watching a friend or loved one contemplate suicide. However, this song also strongly suggests that this person has already gone through with it, or has at least tried to.

The first thing that stands out to me is the beginning of the song. The person is alone, and the narrator cannot understand what is happening, but the person is avoiding eye contact, trying to hide their fear, but it is obvious that there is something going on. Additionally, they look "in and out of somewhere else," meaning that they don't seem in touch with reality. These are all major warning signs of depression and/or suicidal tendencies.

Again, in the second verse, the person in question looks "out of place" and is isolating themselves from everyone, another big warning sign. "Cigarette Daydream" is probably a reference to how people feel that smoking takes away their problems. This might also lead to the person reflecting on their own life, maybe even thinking about death.

As for the chorus, the "pouring rain" could symbolize a problem or a period of great sadness in one's life. Therefore, they are searching for an answer to their problems, or attempting to find a way out of this time of grief, as it also says that they are "trying to find peace of mind." One of the ways that people seek this is by ending their lives.

This is all kind of floppy, but the last part of the chorus was really what lead me to believe this. After analyzing the song, I thought it was just about a struggle that need to be changed, but these ines really confused me. "If we could find a reason to change" implies that there is a problem that needs to be fixed. But what? The next line answers this question. "If you could find a reason to stay." What do you mean, a reason to stay? After carefully looking at all of the previous lyrics, I came to the conclusion that this just might mean "If you could find a reason to stay with us (stay alive), then maybe we can find a way to change ourselves to help you."

The other line that really confused me was "You were only seventeen." If this song was about mental illness, this line would make no sense, as depression is extremely common in teens and young adults. It doesn't just say, "You were seventeen," it says, "You were ONLY seventeen." When someone says that you were ONLY [insert age], they are implying that you were too young for whatever occurrence that has burdened you to fall upon you. After analyzing the last part of the chorus, as I previously explained, the lyrics of this verse started to fall together. A "mean streak" is a darker-shaded stripe or streak. So, "soft speak with a mean streak" could mean that this person has a great personality, but they have a dark side. This "dark side" brought the narrator "to [his] knees." This means that this dark side must be devastating to the narrator. As I have said, this "dark side" might just be related to suicide, so these few lines highly suggest that this person has either attempted suicide, or they maybe have even succeeded in killing themself.

I haven't even heard this song for 2 days, and I'm already trying to figure out what it means. I love this song, it's so powerful, especially "standing in the pouring rain." That line really speaks to me on multiple personal levels.