Three drunk newts, three drunk newts,
See how they crawl, see how they crawl,
Creeping down your legs and feet,
Looking for a snack to eat,
They can't even keep the beat,
Three drunk newts, three drunk newts.
Three stoned newts, three stoned newts,
High as kites, yes, high as kites,
They rumble in the parking lot,
They scored a lid of seedless pot,
Really hope they don't get caught,
Three stoned newts, yo, three stoned newts.
Three wild newts, three wild newts,
Causing a scene, they're rowdy and mean,
They licky sticky loopy juice,
They're off to punish and abuse,
Look out 'cos they're on the loose,
Three wild newts, three wild newts.
Look at their tails (look at our tails), aren't they pretty?
Look at their tails (look at our tails), itty-fitty,
Wish I had a tail (we have tails!)
But I don't!
(Boy, am I drunk! I'm really high! Let's find some women... how a man does!)
[Spoken] Let me tell you a tale about a trio of hot newts on parade... they had Saturday Newt Fever and they was burning... but they got a little too hot, dig.
Three dead newts, three dead newts,
See how they rot, see how they rot,
Left out in the noonday sun,
Dry and stiff and too well done,
That's the end of their newt fun,
Three dead newts, three dead newts, three dead newts...
[Spoken] They're gone now, lived life too hard... Yeah, bye newts, goodbye... Bye... Sleep good... Sweet dreams... YEAH!
Lyrics submitted by JohnnyLurg