The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3 and overweight
I'm a sci-fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out Myspace
'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life, the only time I've
Ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade
Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that will blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
When you got my kinda stats, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in
Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
Hey, I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
(Yeah he's cooler online)
Hey, I'm cooler online
(oh, yeah he's cooler online)
yeah, I'm sitting online
Hey, I'm cooler online
(Yeah he's cooler, yeah)
Oh yeah
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3 and overweight
I'm a sci-fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out Myspace
'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life, the only time I've
Ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade
Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that will blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
When you got my kinda stats, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in
Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
Hey, I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
(Yeah he's cooler online)
Hey, I'm cooler online
(oh, yeah he's cooler online)
yeah, I'm sitting online
Hey, I'm cooler online
(Yeah he's cooler, yeah)
Oh yeah
Lyrics submitted by SongMeanings
Online Lyrics as written by Charles Dubois Brad Paisley
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Spirit Music Group
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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