This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I killed myself but I didn't die
She crossed her heart and stuck a needle in her eye
She promised me she'll never leave me alone
She doesn't sleep she only calls me on the phone all night
I went to school but I didn't learn
I touched the fire but I didn't feel the burn
Somehow I got desensitized to the world
I hate pop music and I hate the Duke of Earl
Alright
I killed myself but I didn't die
Now in the hospital recovering I lie
None of the visitors can look me in the eye
They say "how are ya?" But they don't apologize, oh no
And my mom came in she was having trouble trying to speak
She could see that her boy was some sort of freak
I killed myself but I didn't die
Now she's my baby she's the apple of my eye
She only wants a sensitive guy
And I've been in and out of my mind three times
That's just the way, the way I always was
I go to therapy but I don't take the drugs
I try and really look my life in the face
I think I'm learning that there's no way to escape, oh no
And the worst part is that I didn't even really care
It's just to be or not to be and either way I'm only barely there
I killed myself but I'm still around
I think the living dead will like me better now
I'm gonna socialize I'm gonna go out more
I'll be so beautiful with nothing at the core
She crossed her heart and stuck a needle in her eye
She promised me she'll never leave me alone
She doesn't sleep she only calls me on the phone all night
I went to school but I didn't learn
I touched the fire but I didn't feel the burn
Somehow I got desensitized to the world
I hate pop music and I hate the Duke of Earl
Alright
I killed myself but I didn't die
Now in the hospital recovering I lie
None of the visitors can look me in the eye
They say "how are ya?" But they don't apologize, oh no
And my mom came in she was having trouble trying to speak
She could see that her boy was some sort of freak
I killed myself but I didn't die
Now she's my baby she's the apple of my eye
She only wants a sensitive guy
And I've been in and out of my mind three times
That's just the way, the way I always was
I go to therapy but I don't take the drugs
I try and really look my life in the face
I think I'm learning that there's no way to escape, oh no
And the worst part is that I didn't even really care
It's just to be or not to be and either way I'm only barely there
I killed myself but I'm still around
I think the living dead will like me better now
I'm gonna socialize I'm gonna go out more
I'll be so beautiful with nothing at the core
Lyrics submitted by JackSmirkingRevenge
I Killed Myself But I Didn't Die Lyrics as written by Ezra Mordechai Furman
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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A few corrections: "Somehow I got desensitized to the world / I hate pop music and I hate the Duke of Earl" "I killed myself but I didn't die / Now in the hospital recovering I lie" and "I'm gonna socialize, I'm gonna go out more / I'll be so beautiful with nothing at the core, oh no"
Fantastic song.