This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I drink to drive away all the years I have hated
The ambitions frustrated that no longer survive
I drink day after day to the chaos behind me
Yes, I drink to remind me that I still am alive
So I give you a toast to the endless confusions
To the lies and delusions that have swallowed my life
Yes I give you a toast to the wine and the roses
To the deadly cirrhosis that can cut like a knife
I drink to catch a glimpse of the love we degraded
Of a life that has faded like the vanishing moon
I drink as in a dream to my waiting desire,
To the passionate fire that has burned out so soon.
I drink and I drown in a promise you made me
All the times you betrayed me in your anger and spite
When you took on the town, and when you looked for the action
When you took satisfaction like a whore in the night
I drink to make believe that my life is worth living
That the Gods are forgiving at the end of the day.
I drink because I grieve for the dreams when we started
For the innocent hearted who got lost on the way.
For the children unborn, for their dead phantom faces
for our sterile embraces in the tomb of your bed
I drink and I mourn for the harvest that failed
for the ship that has sailed, and the hope that is dead
I drink to find the place where the darkness can hide me
Until the terror inside me can at last disappear
I drink to my disgrace till oblivion claims me
Until there's nothing that shames me, till I'm blind to my fear
Yes I drink till I burst, till my own degradation
Until the edge of damnation that is waiting below
Yes I drink with a thirst that destroys and depraves me
Engulfs and enslaves me and will never let go
I drink until I'm lost and the street is my hideout
Where I will beat my pride out till I'm gasping for breath
I drink to count the cost of a life I despair for
Until God hears my prayer for a compassionate death
So I spit up my bile at the Gods who demean us
At the silence between us, at the love none can save
For a life that is vile, for a soul that is ailing
For a body that's failing as it heads for the grave
I drink without a care, drink because I must
Drink for my despair, I drink to your disgust
I drink, drink, drink, by God I drink
Yes, I drink
The ambitions frustrated that no longer survive
I drink day after day to the chaos behind me
Yes, I drink to remind me that I still am alive
So I give you a toast to the endless confusions
To the lies and delusions that have swallowed my life
Yes I give you a toast to the wine and the roses
To the deadly cirrhosis that can cut like a knife
I drink to catch a glimpse of the love we degraded
Of a life that has faded like the vanishing moon
I drink as in a dream to my waiting desire,
To the passionate fire that has burned out so soon.
I drink and I drown in a promise you made me
All the times you betrayed me in your anger and spite
When you took on the town, and when you looked for the action
When you took satisfaction like a whore in the night
I drink to make believe that my life is worth living
That the Gods are forgiving at the end of the day.
I drink because I grieve for the dreams when we started
For the innocent hearted who got lost on the way.
For the children unborn, for their dead phantom faces
for our sterile embraces in the tomb of your bed
I drink and I mourn for the harvest that failed
for the ship that has sailed, and the hope that is dead
I drink to find the place where the darkness can hide me
Until the terror inside me can at last disappear
I drink to my disgrace till oblivion claims me
Until there's nothing that shames me, till I'm blind to my fear
Yes I drink till I burst, till my own degradation
Until the edge of damnation that is waiting below
Yes I drink with a thirst that destroys and depraves me
Engulfs and enslaves me and will never let go
I drink until I'm lost and the street is my hideout
Where I will beat my pride out till I'm gasping for breath
I drink to count the cost of a life I despair for
Until God hears my prayer for a compassionate death
So I spit up my bile at the Gods who demean us
At the silence between us, at the love none can save
For a life that is vile, for a soul that is ailing
For a body that's failing as it heads for the grave
I drink without a care, drink because I must
Drink for my despair, I drink to your disgust
I drink, drink, drink, by God I drink
Yes, I drink
Lyrics submitted by artslut
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