Let Me Go

You bang on my door 

Like a knock-knock joke that I’m scared to hear the punch line to,
Because the who somehow always turns out to be you
And it’s always "Nothing new".
We’ve been through the same 
old sing-a-long and lap dance before.

It’s like you tore a page out of the playbook
And you’ve been trying to re-event the paper airplane,
Folding over and over, using the same piece
Until there’s a crease running in every direction
And that shit won’t fly.

And it’s okay,
‘Cause I feel grounded these days.
Less like a bullet that strays into a crowd looking for a home.
Passing through bone as if it was another big city stop
On a vacation planned with a sightseeing book.

See, I took class on listening
So I could hear something positive
Then live happily with the mindset
That will give me altitude when needed.

I’ve got a confidence so deep seeded
It’s growing reverse.
And I rehearse handshakes with Titans
Because even giants need someone to look up to.

Open fire,
There’s wounds to be licked
Near the eyes,
You inherited.
In the bar
People wait for their numbers to come.
One by one, they arrive,
And so will I.
I forget that I don’t live here anymore,
It’s not my scene.
I’ll wait, to be amazed
By a voice not expecting.
Open fire like a car crash.
Open fire and the names and the faces.
Open fire and as you fall back.
Open fire in the city.

And if we agree to disagree
The we never to the time it takes
To analyze the mistakes we made.
We stay at a stalemate 

Where the rate of progress
Is equal to a snails pace
In a rat race where people chase fairy-tales.
Hoping all the happy endings 

Get married to the tragic beginnings,
And all the ever-afters last forever.

And I’m the first to admit,
I sure wish there was a Never Land,
Where time never takes us by the hand
And forces us to grow old.
I wish that every lie told would make our noses grow,
That way we’d know who the politicians should be.

Let me go,
So I don’t cut your heel 

Trying to fit your foot into a glass slipper already smashed against the sidewalk.
Let me wander through the flock 

And show that wolves have got teeth too,
And they have bitten through my tongue
Every time I have had to hold it.
And I have had to hold it, 
I have held it.

And I’ve got the words,
I’ve got the words so sharp
They’d have to drive you to the hospital just to stop the bleeding. 

I’m tired of you needing us to be friends,
Let me go, so I don’t slip and say something like,
"The only person who lets me down more than God,
Is you".

See, I didn’t mean to,
But somewhere along the way 
I grew a mouth like a cannon,
So the next time you ran in and out of my secret lives
I’d have some knives of my own I could throw,
And I know my aim is getting better
Because now I can say your name in a prayer. 

It’s right there, next to the Hallelujah
And the goodbye.

Looked for radio

A voice built by sin. 
Indulgence, the finer things.
Know the room,
With letters that you
Never sent. 
Never meant to. 

Who’s it sent to?
Every train that you can catch
Will arrive,
Every hour, 
Every day.
And every phone call, 
Every response 

Is expected.

Open fire like a car crash.

Open fire, all the names and the faces.
Open fire, and as you fall back.
Open fire, the city lights.

I tried to fit and fill a Cathedral
Where the needful kneel and feel nothing now.

I somehow believe you less and less.
And I guess I trust you about as much as I should,

Which could be another way to say 
I wonder if I ever did. 

I wonder who’s hiding behind each eyelid 

When you had to close your eyes just to touch me.
I wonder where I’d be if
I hadn’t let you use my own physicality
To weaken my arms and legs against escape.

I wonder what you did with that cape that I use to keep
Hanging in my closet.

Let me go,
Like an atheist caught in an undertow
Hoping to nothing that maybe he was wrong.
Let me belong to myself again,
Then stand back to back with a mountain and ask people
“Am I taller yet?”
‘Cause I kinda got my heart set on being huge.
And I figure, maybe with a bigger heart 
I can love strangers a little more.
Laughter can be my encore at every smile.
And I could compile pyramids against hurricanes
And I’d have hands like cranes
And lift the heavy weight of loneliness
From the shoulders of the dejected
Because the world needs a friend.

And maybe I could bend minds around the concept that

Depression is dangerous 

And we can’t afford to have 9-1-1 dismiss unhappiness
As if it wasn’t a Goddamn emergency.
And we should be sending out hugs

As if they were blood, food, and rescue teams.
And we should be holding the hands of the comfortless,
Teaching them to walk balance beams,
And yet it seems more likely
That you would keep me in a constant state of unhappy,
Which lends a truth to the theory about misery and company.

Let me go, 

I’ve got shit to do.
I’ve got to get a shiny new friend 

That I can prop up beside me and say 
“See, I’m alright”.
I’ve got a fight scheduled by the bike racks
For the week after next.
But I’ve got to put it in context,
So that when they write a story on my back in blue and black ink

You won’t think it’s about you,
‘Cause a story’s only true if you live it.
The minute you give it a personal touch 

It becomes something that the facts were based on
And you could argue endlessly over wrong and right,
But day and night occupy both space in between dusk and dawn.
So, let me go,
Because the truth is,
I’m gone.