This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I'd like to think if I was there
In the garden as You prayed and cried
I would have stayed awake for You
So You were not alone at that time
But in truth I can see
That although I stand here now
A part of me...
Was there in the garden, asleep on the ground
And You needed companions, there was no one around
And I'm sorry I left you, to the anguish and pain
And but for the grace of God, I'd fall asleep again
I'd like to think if I was there
As the crowd demanded, 'Crucify'
I would have been a louder voice
Calling out to them 'What is His crime'
But in truth I can see
That although I stand here now
A part of me...
Was there in the rabble, when the crime was declared
And I cried out for Your blood, 'Let Barabbas be spared'
And I'm sorry I left you, to the mocking and scorn
And but for the grace of God, I hear my angry voice
Where you there
When they crucified The Lord
Where you there
When they crucified The Lord
I'd like to think if I was there
Watching as You took Your final breath
I would have known You'd rise again
I'd have remembered all the words You'd said
But in truth I can see
That although I stand here now
A part of me...
Was scared and embarrassed as I watched You die
I believed You were King but You did not even fight
And I'm sorry I forgot all You'd said and done
And but for the grace of God, I'd turn away and run
I'd turn away and run
I was there, when they crucified my Lord
I was there, when they crucified my Lord
In the garden as You prayed and cried
I would have stayed awake for You
So You were not alone at that time
But in truth I can see
That although I stand here now
A part of me...
Was there in the garden, asleep on the ground
And You needed companions, there was no one around
And I'm sorry I left you, to the anguish and pain
And but for the grace of God, I'd fall asleep again
I'd like to think if I was there
As the crowd demanded, 'Crucify'
I would have been a louder voice
Calling out to them 'What is His crime'
But in truth I can see
That although I stand here now
A part of me...
Was there in the rabble, when the crime was declared
And I cried out for Your blood, 'Let Barabbas be spared'
And I'm sorry I left you, to the mocking and scorn
And but for the grace of God, I hear my angry voice
Where you there
When they crucified The Lord
Where you there
When they crucified The Lord
I'd like to think if I was there
Watching as You took Your final breath
I would have known You'd rise again
I'd have remembered all the words You'd said
But in truth I can see
That although I stand here now
A part of me...
Was scared and embarrassed as I watched You die
I believed You were King but You did not even fight
And I'm sorry I forgot all You'd said and done
And but for the grace of God, I'd turn away and run
I'd turn away and run
I was there, when they crucified my Lord
I was there, when they crucified my Lord
Lyrics submitted by Joss.Terrell
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