Nicky

Momus

Suppose one day in Bromley, Kent
I live my nightmare & am sent
To sing for blonde suburban women
Before the wives of double-glazers
I'd be Julio Inglesias
Doing the great Sin-Argentinian

Suppose they Barry Manilow me
Screaming "Show me you're a man"
With legs as mottled as salami
Ladies, I'm doing the best I can

This is how Casanova's bum
Becomes a lesson in virility
Set to a bossa nova drum
Sung to tarts decked out like Christmas trees

Then in my dressing room I'd see
This elephant as pink as me
Drinking & singing gloomily
About the time they called me
Yeah the time the called me,
About the time they called me "Nicky"

If I could be him for only an hour
If I could be him before his grand finale
If I could be me, if I could only be
Cute, cute, cute
Absolutely banal

Suppose one evening in Mauritius
Entertaining high officials
High on whores & marijuana
Begging letters from celebrities
Begging "Couldn't you write songs for me?"
I'd blackmail David Bowie & the Dalai Lama

& I'd be an industrialist of song
& I could sell with a wink
The best in showbiz & in drink
Korean floorshows, whiskey from the Congo
Whiskey from the Congo

Me, I'd have a ring on every finger
& a thumb in every state
& every state would be the singer's
& acknowledged, I would legislate

Then in my Hong Kong opium den
Waiting for 1999
I'd spend the years of my decline
Remembering the time they called me
Yeah the time they called me,
Ah, the time they called me "Nicky"

If I could be him for only an hour
If I could be him before his grand finale
If I could be me
If I could only be cute, cute, cute
Absolutely venal

Suppose one day in paradise
I find myself to my surprise
Singing for ladies flapping swans' wings
Plucking on my little harp
I'd be a beacon in the dark
& save the souls of human beings

Then Jesus Christ has hardly christened me
Son of the one in the directory
Between Vic & Jean-Luc Goddard
& I grow my beard & walk on water

& if I really came on strong
& started prancing and Cliff Richard-ing
I know it wouldn't be too long
Before I heard the shadows whispering

How Satan's come in from the cold
He's now the shepherd & his fold
Is shouting out requests for oldies
From the time they called me
Yeah the time they called me
Yeah the time they called me "Nicky"

If I could be him for only an hour
If I could be him before his grand finale
If I could be me
If I could only be
Cute, cute, cute, cute
Absolutely

He could fall asleep at night
He could fall in love all right
He could fall asleep at night

He could fall asleep at night
He could fall in love all right
He could fall asleep at night

He could fall asleep at night
He could fall in love all right
As a rock & roll star


Lyrics submitted by vchamberlain

Nicky song meanings
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    General Comment
    This is Momus' translation/rewrite of the Jacques Brel song "Jackie." "Nicky" is the affectionate diminutive of Momus' real name, Nicholas Currie, as "Jackie" is short for "Jacques." He attempted to convey Brel's sense with references that English audiences might understand, like Cliff Richard & Julio Iglesias. & though he lightly mocks David Bowie, he ends the song with quotes from Ziggy Stardust's "Star." I don't speak French, but for comparison, he's the English lyrics of Jackie from the 1960's show "Jacques Brel Is Alive & Well & Living In Paris": & if one day I should become A singer with a Spanish bum Who sings for women of great virtue I'd sing to them with a guitar I borrowed from coffee bar Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you My name would be Antonio & all my bridges I would burn & if I gave them some they'd know I expect something in return I'd have to get drunk every night To talk about virility With some old grandmother who might Be decked out like a Christmas tree & tho' pink elephants I'd see I'd sing the song they sang to me About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way & if I joined the social whirl Became procurer of young girls Then I would have my own bordellos My record would be number one & I'd sell records by the ton All sung by many other fellows My name would then be Handsome Jack & I'd sell boats of opium Whiskey that came from Twickenham Authentic queers & phony virgins I'd have a bank on every finger A finger in every country & every country ruled by me I still know where I'd want to be Locked up inside my opium den Surrounded by some Chinamen I'd sing the song that I sang then About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way Now tell me wouldn't it be nice That if one day in Paradise I sang for all the ladies up there & they would sing along with me We'd be so happy there to be 'Cause down below is really nowhere My name would then be Jupiter & I would know where I was going & then I would become all knowing With my beard so long & flowing If I became deaf dumb & blind Because I pitied all mankind & broke my heart to make things right I know that every single night When my angelic work was through The angels & the devil too Would sing my childhood song to me About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way
    vchamberlainon May 13, 2010   Link

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