The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
No more pretending now, the albatross is dying in its nest
The company is crippling me
the worst trying to ruin the best, the best
Their promotion's so lame
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
Maybe they think I'm a pet
Well I've got all the diseases
I'm breaking out in sweat, you bet, because
I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west, hey the west
The boys and me are getting real well known around town
But every time we try to spread the action
Someone always brings it down, down
I ate the orange and I don't feel well
For them it's inconvenience for me it's hell
The geriatric staff think we're freaks
They couldn't sell kebabs to the Greeks, the geeks
Inaction speaks, and
I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west, hey the west
Is this a Russian conspiracy, no it's just idiocy
Is this a Chinese burn
I gotta dinosaur for a representative
It's got a small brain and refuses to learn
Their promotion's so lame
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
Listen I ain't a pet
I ain't a token hipster, in your monopoly set G
You bet because
I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west, hey the west
Yeah the best kept secret in the west The best kept secret in the west
The company is crippling me
the worst trying to ruin the best, the best
Their promotion's so lame
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
Maybe they think I'm a pet
Well I've got all the diseases
I'm breaking out in sweat, you bet, because
I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west, hey the west
The boys and me are getting real well known around town
But every time we try to spread the action
Someone always brings it down, down
I ate the orange and I don't feel well
For them it's inconvenience for me it's hell
The geriatric staff think we're freaks
They couldn't sell kebabs to the Greeks, the geeks
Inaction speaks, and
I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west, hey the west
Is this a Russian conspiracy, no it's just idiocy
Is this a Chinese burn
I gotta dinosaur for a representative
It's got a small brain and refuses to learn
Their promotion's so lame
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
Listen I ain't a pet
I ain't a token hipster, in your monopoly set G
You bet because
I got, Mercury poisoning
It's fatal and it don't get better
I got, Mercury poisoning
The best kept secret in the west, hey the west
Yeah the best kept secret in the west The best kept secret in the west
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