Anything Goes

Times have changed
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got a shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock
If today
Any shock they should try to stem
Instead of landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock would land on them
In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
But now, God knows
Anything goes
Good authors too who once knew better words
Now only use four-letter words
Writing prose
Anything goes
If driving fast cars you like
If low bars you like
If old hymns you like
If bare limbs you like
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like
Why, nobody will oppose
When every night the set that's smart is
Intruding in nudist parties
In studios
Anything goes
When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
Can get Russian reds to "yes" her
Then I suppose
Anything goes
When Rockefeller still can hoard
Enough money to let Max Gordon
Produce his shows
Anything goes
The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today
And black's white today,
And day's night today
And that gent today
You gave a cent today
Once had several chateaux
When folks who still can ride in Jitneys
Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Lack baby clothes
Anything goes
When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
Instruct Anna Sten in diction
Then Anna shows
Anything goes
When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
Now does a handspring landing
Upon her toes
Anything goes
Just think of those shocks you've got
And those knocks you've got
And those blues you've got
From those news you've got
And those pains you've got
(If any brains you've got)
From those little radios
So Missus R., with all her trimmings
Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
Because Franklin knows
Anything goes