November

Sometimes, I cant handle the cold
Ill break another heart too fragile to hold
Love dies, Im standing alone,
painting false hopes is a habit Ive grown
Come find, why I said I dont love you
and instead I was humbled and content with the struggle
That you gave me, and said that I was crazy
Words became chains and love became safety
I saw trust until I lost the view...
And then I lost faith in us like I always do
I refused, to complement your weakness
Through all our ups and downs til I was sea-sick
...Flashbacks I remember so well, we both held
In November, when the snow fell
But that changed, you were not a friend to me
I distorted and soon I lost identity
And when we fought and I tried to break the innocence
You said lies, and I became a hypocrite
You tried to hold the sadness when you grabbed tight
(But I moved on from the shadows of our past life)
You said you couldn't live if I ran away
But part of me died, anyway, when I had to stay
In a storm that I saw in groundview
And I couldn't find the I (eye), it was all about U (you)

Year One! I felt the dear sun
A brand new hope before the tears come
Year two! I see In clear view
Ashamed of myself when I am near you
Year three! I watch the stars fade
Im a zombie whos walking through a heartache
Year four! Youre forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade

All the feelings I have are hard to word
I cant see the problem, my vision starts to blur
Into an image of a violent struggle
Of a slow suicide since the time I loved you
Id, gladly die if youd pacify
But you need too many things that I cant provide, so
You looked for it inside another's arms
Lied through ya teeth and cried that nothings wrong
(It didn't stop) all the cryin in public
Or telling me Im not the only guy you were fuckin!
But I gave in to all my fears instead
The only thing that ran more than me (were the tears you shed)
When you told me you cut inside ya flesh
Youre depressed and youd rather die instead
I could feel my heart tear to bits
(The first time Ive cried ever since my parents split)
And I knew, there was no you and I
I kissed you goodbye, it felt like suicide
Ob a bond that was made to sever
When I turned my back on you and wouldn't face the weather
And for a moment, it felt like nothing mattered
Theres givers and theres takers, and youre just the latter
I needed help but I got a struggle
When I fell to pieces you couldn't solve the puzzle
(We wept in puddles) til we were lost at sea
(With regretful struggles) and a faded promise ring
Your hands were full cuz you seemed to hold grudges
While I chased both of our dreams through rosebushes, in November

Year One! I felt the dear sun
A brand new hope before the tears come
Year two! I see In clear view
Ashamed of myself when I am near you
Year three! I watch the stars fade
Im a zombie whos walking through a heartache
Year four! Youre forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade

I couldn't think to hold a single hope
So I pressed on my luck until my fingers broke
Im treading steps through quicksand of past love
To find closure from ice shoulders and hands touch
And my mind is still plagued with the fragrances
Of pain and bliss, and razorblades you made me grip
When Id watch ya face with teary eyes
And I had to cut myself so I could feel alive, but
I found a place where the weather is much better now
In greener pastures, where the rain is never out
And ya face is replaced by another
November's leaves stay, but have changed for the summer
(and my) hope meddles (where I) go settle
In the line that blurs from love to rose petals
And the silence hurt, so I just followed through
On a beaten street, never reaching peaks which I saw in you
And now I see that you just took me for granted
Had a diamond in the rough and you still took me for granite
Cuz in November we gazed at sea scapes
With each wave, symbolizing things that wed make
Love and war we were born as keepsakes
To underscore loves accord when peace breaks, In November