Very Friendly

It was just an another ordinary day in Manchester. Ian Brady and Myra Hindley...drinking German wine.... Their mother had gone to bed upstairs. She slept very well. They used to give her sedatives every night with her cocoa. And Ian Brady put on his best clothes and his blue suede shoes, and he decided to go out with Myra Hindley, because it had been six months, and one of those special days. So Myra Hindley put on a dark wig and drove Ian Brady to the mainline station. And while she stayed in the car, Ian Brady went cruising on the platform. Same night, Edward Evans was also getting dressed ion his best, and his mother, who didn't know he was a little bit inclined for the young men, wished him well and slicked his hair and put on his windbreaker, and he went down to the mainline station. He waited for an hour, and he was beginning to think that there wasn't going to be any train that night. And then somebody came towards him wearing blue suede shoes, and it was Ian Brady, and he said, "Hi, my name's Ian, I saw you down at the pub last week. Why don't you come back to my place and we can, uh, drink some German wine.... I've got a car around the corner, my sister's there, she'll drive us back. It's only in Hyde, it's not too far. If it gets late, you can always stay the night..."

Ian Brady and Myra Hindley... Very friendly... Ian Brady... And Myra Hindley... Very friendly...

So Edward Evans and Ian Brady went to the car and Myra Hindley drove them back to their little house, and tied up the dog when they went through the front door, and their mother was still asleep upstairs. And she made some excuses and twisted on the TV set, and it was This Is Your Life with Eamonn Andrews interviewing Sir Stanley Matthews. And she went in the kitchen, said she wanted to make some sandwiches for work tomorrow, and Ian Brady and Edward Evans sat on the sofa. And Ian Brady started to play with Edward Evans's fly, and he got a bottle and several glasses, and right under the photo of Myra Hindley's mother, they started to drink...drinking German wine... And Myra Hindley went over up the road to see David Smith, who knew her sister, and David didn't have a shirt on and he was drinking tea with his wife. They had a TV set on too. It's only a game. It's only information. And she said to David, "Why don't you come back to our place David. We've got something rather special to show you." And he said, "Alright, let me just put on my jacket." And they both set off, walking through the night, walking through Hyde to get to their little house, one side of the house looking out on the porch. They knocked on the door, but he was used to that because Ian Brady has some funny habits.

Ian Brady and Myra Hindley... Very friendly... Ian Brady... And Myra Hindley... Very friendly...

And when he got inside he heard some funny noises coming from the front room over the Eamonn Andrew's voice. Myra Hindley said, "Why don't you go in there David, you might like what you see." So he opened the door while Myra went in the kitchen to get more German wine... And when he went inside he looked over to the sofa, and there was Ian Brady CHOPPING AT EDWARD EVANS' HEAD WITH AN AXE. And he was chopping, and chopping, and the axe was going into the back of his neck, and there was blood spurting over the Church Of England prayerbook, and a few drops landed on the TV screen and ran down Eamonn Andrew's cheek, as some bits of bone and white brain landed on the harp right near the brass brush that they used to clean the chimney. And there was Lino l on the floor, which was lucky. And it took quite a few hits before Edward Evans gargled. Ian Brady asked David Smith for some rope which he had wrapped around a stick that he used to play with his dog, and they put it tight around Edward Evans's neck until he strangled. And he made a strange noise - aaararaoghgyaae... AND THEN HE DIED. And he was just a lump of stuff. Just a bit more information.

Ian Brady and Myra fucking Hindley... Very, very friendly... Ian Brady... And Myra Hindley... Very friendly...

And when David Smith helped finish wrap up the body and take it upstairs, he made excuses and left, well frightened. Very friendly. And he went home to his wife, and he told her what had happened, and they agreed that they needed to tell the police. But they were very frightened, so they stayed awake all night, gripping a knife from the kitchen, hoping that Ian Brady wouldn't come around and say anything else. And eventually it was morning. And they went out of the house at around 8 o'clock. Outside, into the street, they quickly ran up the road until they got to the red telephone box. And when they got to the telephone box he gave his wife the knife and said, "Wait here while I ring them." And he got inside the phone box and dialed 9... 9.... 9..... NINE......... 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9. And it was the police station, and the rather fat police sergeant who was trying to finish checking his football pools heard the phone ring, and he said, "Oh, shit." And he put down his paper with a coronation picture of the queen on it, and he picked up the phone, and when David heard the policeman answer and say, "Yes, what do you want?", he told him and said - "THERE'S BEEN A M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-URDER!!!"

THERE'S BEEN A M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-URDER!!!
THERE'S BEEN A M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-URDER!!!
THERE'S BEEN A M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-URDER!!!

There's been a murder.... There's been a murder... Ian Brady and Myra Hindley... Very friendly... Ian Brady... And Myra Hindley... Very friendly... Ian Brady... Myra Hindley... Very friendly... Ian Brady... And Myra Hindley... Very friendly... There's been a murder... There's been a murder... A murder... Very Friendly... Ian Brady... Myra Hindley... There's been a murder...