I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
The thrill here is quicker than you'd think
The way some jet-lagged bar kept pouring the wine
From over their heads then sit back down again
Four times is once too much for luck
And that's how many times the clock struck
I wandered home saying your name
The arches here were built 'cause they don't fall
The cathedrals to make you feel small
You might find your small soul
But leave the preaching to the president
The crowd cheers, his eyes get wet, I'm full as it is, I'm full as it is
So don't feed me more
You'll be having my head, big as a birthday
'Cause I left all my doubts on the airplane
I didn't know, I didn't know I'm not in control
I didn't know, I'm not invincible
Now maybe some things are better left unsaid
But if you wanted to test that out, well, yeah, I guess, I could've said
But there were nights in bars that I recall
Your breath was courage laced with alcohol
You leaned in, you said
"Make music with the chatter in here
And whisper all the notes in my ears"
I didn't know, I didn't know the weight of my tongue
I didn't know, I didn't know what I'd done
The lights here are softer than you'd think
The dim lit peacocks in the trees
Are hiding their eyes and their beauty, like me
But if my eyes were on my back
I know what I'd be looking at
Through every shade of browns and greens
I didn't know, I didn't know it was nothing new
I didn't know, I didn't know it was you
The way some jet-lagged bar kept pouring the wine
From over their heads then sit back down again
Four times is once too much for luck
And that's how many times the clock struck
I wandered home saying your name
The arches here were built 'cause they don't fall
The cathedrals to make you feel small
You might find your small soul
But leave the preaching to the president
The crowd cheers, his eyes get wet, I'm full as it is, I'm full as it is
So don't feed me more
You'll be having my head, big as a birthday
'Cause I left all my doubts on the airplane
I didn't know, I didn't know I'm not in control
I didn't know, I'm not invincible
Now maybe some things are better left unsaid
But if you wanted to test that out, well, yeah, I guess, I could've said
But there were nights in bars that I recall
Your breath was courage laced with alcohol
You leaned in, you said
"Make music with the chatter in here
And whisper all the notes in my ears"
I didn't know, I didn't know the weight of my tongue
I didn't know, I didn't know what I'd done
The lights here are softer than you'd think
The dim lit peacocks in the trees
Are hiding their eyes and their beauty, like me
But if my eyes were on my back
I know what I'd be looking at
Through every shade of browns and greens
I didn't know, I didn't know it was nothing new
I didn't know, I didn't know it was you
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"And maybe some things are better left unsaid But if you wanted to test that, I will, yeah, I guess, I could've said But there were nights in bars that I recall Your breath was courage laced with alcohol You leaned in, you said, "Make music with the chatter in here, And whisper all the notes in my ears." I didn't know, I didn't know the way of my tongue I didn't know, I didn't know what I'd done"
I think the girl he's writing about and had these experiences with in Spain was someone he almost loved but her intensity and, quite possibly, her alcoholism always left him a bit rattled. He would tell her what he thought she wanted to hear, even if he didn't mean it, and in the end... there was just that:
an end.
......... I'm so full of shit.