The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
I write heresies and sign my name,
publish and perish all the same.
You ask why should I not stay?
Your sobrieties are all a shame
If you have pills on the candle flame.
Tell me, where's your doubter's face?
Your anxieties caught in a pill
Makes you feel like you can feel
When your religion is all DeMille
Just wash it down, wash the lies out from the real.
With your doubts, it's all the same
Now you see how it feels to say,
"I fell off my name."
Your computer says your time is gone
You've been idle for too long.
You give up now, and turn away
And when the virus makes your blood start to decay
With your doubts, it's all the same
Now you see how it feels to say,
"I fell off my name."
publish and perish all the same.
You ask why should I not stay?
Your sobrieties are all a shame
If you have pills on the candle flame.
Tell me, where's your doubter's face?
Your anxieties caught in a pill
Makes you feel like you can feel
When your religion is all DeMille
Just wash it down, wash the lies out from the real.
With your doubts, it's all the same
Now you see how it feels to say,
"I fell off my name."
Your computer says your time is gone
You've been idle for too long.
You give up now, and turn away
And when the virus makes your blood start to decay
With your doubts, it's all the same
Now you see how it feels to say,
"I fell off my name."
Lyrics submitted by eatMUSIC87
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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I listened to the whole album fairly regularly for a couple of years or so, but didn't think much about the lyrics. But there was something about this one phrase "now you know how it feels to say I fell off my name" that grabbed me, but I was mystified as to what it meant. Until one day.
To make a long story short, I grew up Mormon, and over a long period of time a lot of things built up to one moment in which I realized that the religion was... let's say... less than true. As for why this matters to this song, there's a tradition of describing baptism as "taking upon yourself the name of Jesus Christ." When I lost my faith, I simultaneously lost the appellation. And not just "Christian" or "Mormon" moniker, but also the tradition that had been in family for a fair number of generations. It felt like I had fallen off the train that my whole network was built on, and that I didn't have anyone left. I had lost my identity.
The next time I listened to this song, I was stunned to realize that I actually had come to know how it feels to say I had fallen off my name.
For more, see: "when your religion is all DeMille." This guy is best known for The Ten Commandments (the classic). This line is a comment on how some people approach religion as in the way it is presented in that movie (or as in Samson and Delilah). That is, literally and dramatically, and even melodramatically.
In trying to piece together what parts of my Mormon heritage I could live on while embracing, and which parts I would have to discard, these lines fit well:
Just wash it down, wash the lies out from the real. With your doubts, it's all the same.
And it fits so well. I have no confidence in anything I learned in my Mormon upbringing. I still see that there are probably some good lessons I learned and good experiences I had, but it all just feels so misguided.
Anyway, this stuff sounds so pitch-perfect to my feelings that I decided to look up information on the guy singing the song. Lo and behold, this guy was raised Mormon too. He published in Dialogue for a while (a Mormon academic journal), and he's a professor at Yale these days.
see: "I write heresies and sign my name, publish and perish all the same."
("Publish or perish" being the old mantra of the yet-untenured university professor.)
Small world.
Wow. I was raised a JW and have had much the similar experience. Loved what you said about "wash the lies out from the real". Took me a while to learn that lesson but oh so true. I no longer have any faith but I always strive to live my life according to the "law of love".