I hide in a log cabin
With a large group of strangers.
We don't know what's outside,
But it's making us pretty nervous.

Channel Four make a terrible fuss
About appointing a dwarf
To present all of their children's programmes.
He turns out to be really, rather good;
Exceptionally engaging and handsome.
A long-term documentary of his life is commissioned.

I go to the park:
It's very bright and looks like plastic -
Like a cartoon.
The grass is very green, and the sky is very blue,
And the ducks have left a lot of duckshit
All over a little island in the river.

I sit on the grass
And explain to George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld
How ducks stand on one leg,
To avoid getting shit on both feet.
They're very interested and ask me to demonstrate.

In the supermarket I buy
Weird fluffy toys for my little brother.
They all have ineffectual limbs, grey threadbare fur,
An irregular number of eyes and ears.
I am delighted that the supermarket stocks them,
Since I know that my brother has real-life creatures like this
Living in his backyard.

I wonder about barefoot in the duckshit,
Then feel guilty because I promised my friends in the log cabin
I wouldn't talk to George Bush,
And, now, I have.

The dwarf on Channel Four has grown old;
He resembles a miniature Edith Sitwell,
With his headscarf and sunken cheeks,
And he's apparently now an iconic figure in the art world.
He's been asked to appear to appear on the catwalk show
With Vivian Westward's new collection,
And Channel Four will be covering the event for the documentary,

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My father and I
Have a ridiculously melodramatic argument.
We're both like Laurence Olivier doing Greek tradegy:
All flailing arms and accusatory eyes.
The lighting is suitably stark;
We're spotlit from below.

All of the clothes are black and yellow,
Striking geometric patterns on enormous angular outfits.
Westward explains to the camera that,
If she can see the faces of the people in the audience,
She gets nervous,
So everyone has had to come
Wearing an animal head over their evening wear.
The camera pans out for the last shot.

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Lyrics submitted by crystal_dreams

Dwarf Documentary song meanings
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