Back in Your Head

This song has nothing to do with being a lesbian! It's about a long term relationship with somebody emotionally unavailable (sara) and the struggles that go along with it: "Build a wall of books between us in our bed"- When going to bed turns into reading book after book until the lights go out, no longer having that sexual spark "repeat repeat the words that I know we both have said"- Going through the motions, saying "I love you" every night out of habit "Relax into the need we get so comfortable"- Losing the newness of the relationship "Remember when I was so strange and likeable" - Remembering the newness of the relationship "I just want back in your head"- Wanting to have a real intellectual conversation with your partner not just the "how was your day" "I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray"- She's not a cheater... but emotionally she needs to be pulled back in, or she gets a jolt out of flirting with other people just because she can "When I jerk away from holding hands with you, I know these habits hurt important parts of you"- She doesn't like PDA it's a problem for her partner, she becomes hurt and feels like Sara is ashamed to be with her "Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable, nothing like this person unlovable"- She is now cold and uninterested

Basically I think that Sara is wanting to end a relationship because she is no longer romantically interested, but doesn't want too because they are too close. Like best friends, or roommates.

Those are good interpretations but I feel that she means something different. Like, their relationship is falling apart, because of her actions, and "[she's] not unfaithful, but [she'll] stray when [she gets] a little scared," is more so her commitment issues. Meaning, she gets frightened when she thinks the relationship is getting too serious or too far and she strays to keep it more relaxed and comfortable, and her significant other just doesn't want to deal with that. That's just my interpretation of it, and I love this song.

for me this song is like when you first meet someone and you really like them and they feel exactly the same they can't get you out of their head. But then later in the relationship you find yourselves drifting apart because the part of you that your partner really loved about you, you've lost or you've changed. Then all you want is that very part of you back, because you want to be back in her head, and back to how it used to be.

This song definitely makes it clear that the person wants back into someones head (haha) maybe because they broke up on bad terms. She obviously messed up, and she's sorry. Even though she is still kind of unfaithful to her, she still wants her back and she'll do anything to "get back into her head." Sounds to me like a song about unrequited love.

(Build a wall of books between us in our bed) This is a metaphor... they're still together but it's like neither of them are even aware of each other anymore.

(Repeat, repeat, the words that I know we both have said) This is like, saying I Love You, but you don't mean it really, it's just something you're obligated to say.

(Relax into the need, we get so comfortable) They've become comfortable with each other, but it's more like they don't enjoy each other's company anymore, they're just there.

(Remember when I was so strange and likeable?) Back in the days when the partner was a mystery, and there was still so much to learn. But now that he knows her better its not as strange to him, not as unique.

(I just want back in your head I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray) She just wants him to think of her again lovingly. She won't cheat on him, but she needs some attention so she might flirt around.

(When I get a little scared, I run, run, run) If she thinks that he's going to leave her, she'll deny it or leave him.

(When I jerk away from holding hands with you, I know these habits hurt important parts of you) When she denys his affection, he's hurt and therefore distances himself even more.

(Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable? Nothing like this person, un-loveable)

Again, the mystery aspect of it. But now that things have changed and the flare is gone, it's hard to keep loving.

MyNameIsIvy made a GOOD point but seriously, it's definitely not about a "him". it's about her relationship with her girlfriend, just to clear that up because it was seriously bothering me. anyone who knows t&s would understand.

nonetheless, good point you make

She's too afraid to open herself up. Before, the other person knew only what she let them know about herself. But, somehow, they have gotten to know her more than she felt safe with. She loves the person, but is too scared that it's real and is too scared to let herself be loved.

She just wants to get back in the person's head, meaning the person had not figured her out yet, and still wondered about everything she kept hidden. She wants to be mysterious.

And she "strays when she is scared" because she doesn't want to get too close this one person. When she's scared she plays hard to get.

I think it's about wanting the lust back in the relationship. They are in love but they are so comfortable that she isn't in the persons head but in there heart more. I think she wants the excitment and lust back in the relationship and she isn't going to be unfaithful but she will look (stray) to see if she can still get that feeling but really loves that person.

if that makes sense.

I think Sara is writing about Emy.

"repeat the words that I know we both said" - I love you?

"Relax into the need We get so comfortable"-passionless, going through the motions.

"Remember when I was so strange and likeable"-Now the mystery is gone, Emy (I think) knows Sara (I think) so well that she likes her less, but loves her more. If that makes sense.

"I just want back in your head"-I want to be the thing that fills your head, like the thing you think about all the time, the person/thing that occupies your head all day long. I think it is a two way thing. I think she wants to be back in Emy's head, but also for Emy to be back in hers.

"I'm not unfaithful But I'll stray"-Sara wouldn't physically cheat, but emotionally maybe she pushes her away. She concentrates on other things, she basically does what she is saying in the chorus about being out of someones mind. It's the same idea of having something on your mind all the time, either a person or something else. She thinks about other things/or other people even, instead of the person she is actually dating.

"When I get a little scared"-The scariest thing about a relationship.........You are so into a person, that you depend on them, they are 100% part of your life. You get to a place where it would just hurt too much to break up with them. That is very scary, but the worst bit is that the relationship is now missing the things that made it great at the start (That is why I don't believe in the union of marraige).

But I think at the end of the day, a relationship at this stage, where the people are practically married without the legal binding contract side, is perfect. It's like anything, things change, and you want to go back to how you remember it. But you can't, and thinking about it will just drive you nuts. To get to a stage like this in a relatioship is amazing, and disecting the relatioship and concentrating on the past is not a good idea I think.

This is just how I feel about the song.

It's seriously so weird how much this song describes me and my most recent ex's relationship; well the end of the relationship anyway.

I think it's basically about how they've been together for a long time, but now they're starting to grow apart, and she feels as if it's her fault. "When I jerk away from holding hands with you, I know these habits hurt important parts of you", always sticks out for me, because I did that a lot with my ex; not because I didn't like/"love" him, but because I was scared. I think the "I just want back in your head" lines, mean she wants him to treat her how he used to; like maybe he never compliments her anymore or does little things anymore, so she feels as if he doesn't love her anymore. "Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable? Nothing like this person, un-loveable." I think she's calling herself "un-loveable" now, because she's feels as if she's changed from how she was at the beginning of their relationship, she thinks that's why he's no longer treating her the same.

However, I'm probably completely wrong because I'm basically just applying my last relationship to the meaning, because that's what I think of when I listen to this song. So sorry about the like ten references to my ex; I hate when people do that atually, so it's probably really annoying. But that's what I think it's about. :]