This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
Awaken in a state it's not my own
The only thing that's real
Is that amongst these walls,
I whisper to a fear that sleeps in my soul
Weighting on my conscience, but I think I know
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on these favors they only come to show
There's not much in them for you to hold
Awaken to the sudden fact that I’ve
Simply wasted chances, but I'm not yet to die
Waiting for my temperament to calm
Well maybe they can't hear the crap behind these eyes
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on the favors they only come to show
There's not much in them for you to hold
It starts to become something
I can't touch but you can feel
But there's something else surrounding me
It's not easy to see
Awaken to the only chance I've got
Hide behind these walls,
I look through the cracks
I see the same mistakes that I once made
All that I can tell you there is a price to pay
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on these favors they only come to show
There's not much in them for you to hold
It starts to become something
I can't touch but you can feel
But there's something else surrounding me
It's not easy to see
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on these favors they only come to show
There's not much in them at all
The only thing that's real
Is that amongst these walls,
I whisper to a fear that sleeps in my soul
Weighting on my conscience, but I think I know
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on these favors they only come to show
There's not much in them for you to hold
Awaken to the sudden fact that I’ve
Simply wasted chances, but I'm not yet to die
Waiting for my temperament to calm
Well maybe they can't hear the crap behind these eyes
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on the favors they only come to show
There's not much in them for you to hold
It starts to become something
I can't touch but you can feel
But there's something else surrounding me
It's not easy to see
Awaken to the only chance I've got
Hide behind these walls,
I look through the cracks
I see the same mistakes that I once made
All that I can tell you there is a price to pay
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on these favors they only come to show
There's not much in them for you to hold
It starts to become something
I can't touch but you can feel
But there's something else surrounding me
It's not easy to see
It hurts me to be angry
Kills me to be kind
But my only torment
Is my own disguise
Waiting on these favors they only come to show
There's not much in them at all
Lyrics submitted by LaDiablo
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@[Diderik:33655] "Your a holiday!" Was a popular term used in the 50s/60s to compliment someone on their all around. For example, not only are they beautiful, but they are fun and kind too ... just an all around "holiday".
I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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