A Little Priest

That's all very well What're we gonna do about him?

Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to some secret place and bury him

Well, of course, we could do that
I don't suppose he's got any relatives going to come poking around looking for him
You know me, bright ideas just pop into my head and I keep thinking

Seems a downright shame

Shame?

Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's-his-name
Has
Had
Has
Nor it can't be traced

Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
No?
Seems an awful waste

I mean
With the price of meat what it is
When you get it
If you get it

Ha ha ha!

Good, you got it
Take, for instance
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

Mrs. Lovett
What a charming notion
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always

Well, it does seem a waste

Mrs. Lovett
How I've lived without you all these years

It's an idea

I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable
How choice!
How rare!

Think about it
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be coming for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

For what's the sound of the world out there?

What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd
What is that sound?

Those crunching noises pervading the air?

Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, all around

It's man devouring man, my dear

And who are we to deny it in here?

Ah, these are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett And desperate measures are called for

Here we are, hot from the oven

What is that?

It's priest
Have a little priest

Is it really good?

Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

Awful lot of fat

Only where it sat

Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?

No, you see the trouble with poet
Is how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest

Mm, heavenly

Ah

Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but then not as bland as curate, either

And good for business
Always leaves you wanting more Trouble is, we only get it in Sundays

Lawyer's rather nice

If it's for a price

Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow
It twice

Anything that's lean

Well, then, but if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal
Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been

Is that squire
On the fire?

Mercy no, sir
Look closer
You'll notice it's grocer

Looks thicker
More like vicar

No, it has to be grocer-it's green

The history of the world, my love

Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors

Is those below serving those up above

Everybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors

How gratifying for once to know

That those above will serve those down below!

Now, let's see
We've got tinker

Something pinker

Mm, tailor?

Mm, paler

Potter?

Hotter

Butler?

Subtler

Locksmith?

Lovely bit of clerk

Maybe for a lark

Then again, there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark

Try the financier
Peak of his career

That looks pretty rank

Well, he drank
It's a bank
Cashier

Last one really sold
Wasn't quite so old

Have you any beadle?

Next week, so I'm told
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it
And notice how well it's
Been greased
Stick to priest

Now this may be a bit stringy, but then again, it's fiddle player

Ah, no, no, no, that's not fiddle player That's piccolo player

How can you tell?

Because it's piping hot

Then blow on it first!

The history of the world, my sweet

Oh, Mr. Todd, ooh, Mr. Todd
What does it tell?

Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat

And, Mr. Todd, too, Mr. Todd
Who gets to sell

But fortunately, it's also clear

That everybody
Goes down well with beer

Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about Rear Admiral?

Too salty I prefer General

With or without his privates? Wi- "With" is extra

What is that?

It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top
And I've just begun
Here's the politician- so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one?

Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run

Try the friar
Fried, it's drier

No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy

Then actor-
That's compacter

Yes, and always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you
Have judge on the menu

Wait! True, we don't have judge yet, but we've got something you might fancy even better

What's that?

Executioner

Have charity towards the world, my pet

Yes, yes, I know, my love

We'll take the customers that we can get

High-born and low, my love

We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone

Meaning anyone

And to anyone
At all!