"Midas Gutz" as written by Adam Drucker, Jeffrey Logan, Dax Pierson, Alex Kort, Jordan Dalrymple and Marton Dowers....
Another missing number in the jungle.
turned up with nothing but a loin cloth
to protect your tender penis from what's danger & the wildlife.
Your human nose making the least of all scent.
going dumb to the dynamics of clean air,
bare feet kringing cross the unkept forest floor.

Not ten minutes ago...
You had been licking brass knuckles and soaking up satelite feed
beneath beating flash bulb blare, being crowned this years champi'o'king.
looking good bad after a beautiful thing.
Big winner of the only and annual "serious serious gut's competition"...
(sponsored in part by the pain reliever people and the heads of music television)

Yes, you and ten other tough guys
slit smiles across your then perfectly sturdy stomachs
and spread your large intestines boldly out across a coated white poker table....
the starter pistol barked and each contestant commenced to carefully comb
their own eager entrails from behind the one-way wall of mirrored eyewear.
everyone a hopeful breathing heavy
sifting through their mortal coil with their finger tips,
for the most intimidating lengths
of well sculpted and primetime stomach links.

Every so often... in the name of health
an executioner capped usher struts about the gut covered table
misting everyone's exposed and heaving organs
with a modified and fancy water pistol.

As always this years celebrity judges are only
of the most incredible persuasion
charles bronsons angry and gay only daughter,
icecube back from when he was hard
and a framed 8x10 of joe namath's kneecaps.

And because you won they stitched up your open abdomen first...
gave you a nice rambo knife, some choice cigarettes
and cut you loose in the ozarks.
The question being not if, but when
you will kill for your next meal...

and besides you'd never gone missing before...

In one months time they anticipate your turning up
in the lap of the lincoln memorial
wearing the stripped and cured flesh of another white rapper.
lovers and mothers the last thing on your mind
raw & reborn in the kill: as the red carpet goes wild

The vice magazine people serving up
a hard bucket of most happening blood...
feeding a spit roast pig in your honor,
kissing the wind calling you boss...
phantom hearts clinking half- empty
in the leftover and once humored
still, arrogant air...

Lyrics submitted by Taobeth

Midas Gutz song meanings
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  • +1
    General CommentAdam Drucker (on Midas Gutz): The actual song is about how I found, over time, watching some of my contemporaries;whether I know them or not, whether we’re friendly or not, how the world really wants to love someone who might punch them in the face if they actually meet them. Like your favorite person being someone who is some asshole or violent monster man. I wrote this poem when I was thinking about what would weed out the tough guys from the tough guys, and it would be this sort of cool calm [contest]. I guess they’d pump them full of morphine, I kind of left those details out. I don’t know how they would get it on ESPN, but it would be fantastic. Seeing all the big guys there with their stomachs out, and the winner, at the end, going to Disneyland.
    Derek_Harton September 18, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI may be wrong on this, but I think that this song is a parody on the old show Nickelodeon Guts show. There was a a part of this show in which the contestants had to "spill their guts out" and talk about themselves which relates to "spread your large intestines boldly out across a coated white poker table" from the song.
    Supertwinkeyon June 04, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI was close...
    Supertwinkeyon December 22, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI think yours makes more sense, even if there's no Disneyland prize.
    Derek_Harton June 05, 2008   Link

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