Sloppy Love Jingle Part 3

Sloppy love jingle: sequence three, cameras rollin’…action!
The bomb’s been detonated
I’m just waiting for explosion
I was at second base and it was time for me to close in on third
With blurred vision and…precisely placed slurred words, we started kissin’
Man, listen, it was like a scene from a very bad B movie with a very low budget
but fuck it, I was drunk, and I admit I loved it
Every last second, I couldn’t kill that thought of us butt-ass naked
Telly surfin’ with the fan on, chattin’ bout the session and
Slowly getting into some closet skeleton confessions
That’s when she made an offer that I couldn’t refuse
And chills went up n down my legs like Samoan tattoos
She said she had a pad that wasn’t too far away
She said she’d love it if I stayed ‘til the following day (hell yeah)
so it was time to exit stage left (alright guys, I’m outta here)
I made my rounds, gave my pounds and hugs
Gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath (::gasp::)
And now we walkin’ to the door but,
Right before we stepped outside, she bought me one more (yo, they’re lookin’ outside for you)
And now I’m feelin’ it
I had my hand in my pocket but she’s stealin’ it
With our fingers interlocking as we’re walking down Exchange Street
With our hearts pitter-pattin’ to the same beat
And then she popped the question, like “Trav, you ever been in love”
I’m like “pfft, not that I recall, well there was one situation, but I didn’t have the patience
Or the balls to say it, and every time I tried I just digitally delayed it.
And it sounded something like a pi-pi-di-di-duh”
Man, my speech impediment left my heart vacant without a single resident
The first tenant got evicted, the second, she settled in
I seen her the other day ridin’ my bike and kept peddlin’
If it wasn’t for meddlin’ kids, would love even exist? (nope)
If it wasn’t for alcohol, would I be saying this? (nope)
She probably took offense
I probably started getting sober
‘Cause she started getting ugly and I think I probably told her
Then my feet got heavy, I started drippin’ sweat
Knew I was getting’ into something I would later regret
Right when I lit the cigarette I caught a case of the spins
And started wishing I was back at the bar with my friends
Then it happened, I fell flat on my face
When I awoke I found that I was in a very strange place
I musta got my wish granted ‘cause I was butt-ass naked
But the only downside was that the room was pretty vacant
Except next to the bed there was this note on the dresser
While I’m trying to deal with this hangover head pressure
With a smile, I grabbed the note, lit a smoke, and sat back
“Dear whoever, lose my number, P.S. the sex was whack!”