walk up in the joint, the place is hoppin'
time to get on point, i'm goin' shoppin'
check my sword at the booth and get a ticket
immediately i spot a hottie, hope she wanna kick it
can't believe this girl is just chillin' there alone
good thing i went all out tonight, don't usually wear cologne
she look the type of girl i'd wanna take out like a loan
shouldn't be too hard, like a piece of mica stone
walk over to her in my super smooth stride
take my place by the side of my new future bride
flashed a big smile and i asked her what's good
she said "don't push your luck like you knockin' on wood"
i understood, as her man came back and took her arm
i was rattled like a man-made shack in a storm
screw it, she wasn't that bangin' anyhow
she wish that she could get it on with me, fat cow
after all, there's this cutie by the wall
showin' off her stems like tall trees in the fall
can't recall a doll who looked so good in a shawl
forget the small talk i offer her alcohol
after a few drinks, i tried to peek in her kimono
she slapped me in the face and said that's a big no no
she said the last samurai she dated was kinda cocky
i just smiled and nodded as she got sedated off the saki

things was goin' well, i spit game to satisfaction
i could tell tonight, i would get the baddest action
this girl just couldn't get enough of my mojo
so then i offered to take her back to my dojo
just then, this samurai had to meddle
came in and told my girl she didn't have to settle
i thought to myself, "man, this kid's got some dumplings"
didn't matter though, he was askin' for a crumpling
as we walked past, i gave my man a light shove
he reacted fast, hit me with his right glove
bouncer jumped right in, asked, "what's the trouble here?
don't make me get involved," he said, "that's a double dare"
i told him there's no problem, everything is hunky dory
all that's gotta happen is for this drunk to say he sorry
the samurai snickered and he called me a fool
chugged his liquor and then challenged me to a duel

what the blood clot, who does that in a club spot?
disrespectin', steppin' outta line like a subplot
tryin' to steal my girl like a pressing ass-shopper
guess i'ma have to teach you a lesson, grasshopper
you really should just leave now, if you think you're gonna
cuz, kid, you don't wanna have a talk with my kitana
ain't it a beauty, been a real good friend
following the trend, it'll send you to your end
and that's when my enemy pulled out his keen edge
looked pretty impressive, it would clip a mean hedge
but he couldn't keep a stance that would save his drunken stupor
yet he said to me, "let's dance," i responded to him, "super"
i launched right away into a favorite technique
he barely dodged it, missed his neck by a squeak
he countered my attack with a textbook move
i eluded that and wondered how his next would prove
caught him unprepared, and i jumped in the air
with my next strike, this kid wouldn't have a prayer
but to my despair, he suddenly became aware
he escaped the affair, all i cut was his hair
he answered right back with a weak sneak attack
i voiced my critique by tellin' him he was whack
but to be honest, though his style was wild and wreckless
he always crossed my sword, like he was crossing off a checklist
he fought well, he just had too much booze
on any other day he wouldn't be guaranteed to lose
after more abuse, he finally spewed on his shoes
then he stumbled to the ground so he could choose to take a snooze
put my sword in its sheath and bowed in respect
went back to my girl, put my arm around her neck
and as we walked down the street away from vigorous applause
i wondered if i'd ever get to fight for a bigger cause

Lyrics submitted by shogunmusic

The Spot / Samurai Vs. Samurai song meanings
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