My Pink Half of the Drainpipe

You talking to me across the fence
Of common sense
How your tomato plant will win a prize,
won't that be nice,
And by the way, how's your wife?
Your holidays were spent in Spain
You went by plane
You'll go again
Have you seen me bullfight poster on the wall?
Do you know the happy memory it recalls?
Here's a photograph of me and my son, Ted
That's me cousin with his hanky on his head!
We booked in at our hotel just after two
And met a family from Bradford that we knew
Oooh, I love that melody-ah! Burp!
My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates next door from me
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to me
Rodney's main saxaphone solo, as promised
My pink half of the drainpipe
Semidetaches us
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to moi
I have a sister in Toronto who's a nurse
And I've had a bit of bother laying turf
It's life, not books, that taught me all I've learned
Whoops, nip in the oven my rice pudding's getting burnt!
Have you seen the new attachment on me drill?
I must have the cat put down, ‘cause he's ill
Hey, neighbour!
My pink half of the drainpipe
I may paint it blue
My pink half of the drainpipe
Keeps me safe from
you!
I'm a wobbly jelly, you're a pink blancmange
I'm a sherry trifle, you're a chocolate sponge
Your dad wears a paper hat, mine inflates balloons
Whoops! Boodly boop! Pop! Here comes a spoon!
My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life and every day to day event in all it's minute and tedious attention to detail... And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn't though. Oh, who cares anyway because I do not
So Norman, if you're normal, I intend to
be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen, incessant quotations from "Now We Are
Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant, poisoned, electric head.
SO THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!