Babies with Guns

should be "strays don't vacate slow"

"pucks that tawny felt down"

Should be "Punxsutawney Phil found"

punxsutawney phil being the groundhog who determines whether or not we will have 6 more weeks of winter. Hence the "winter forever" line preceding it.

good job overall. i think:

"Cradled by twelve empty sell the heart containers" = "Cradled by twelve empty Zelda heart containers"

"With his sore furry wrist severed" = "With his four furry wrists severed"

"I duel, too, but only to exploit no brainers" = "I'd do it too, but only to explain(exploit? not sure.) no-brainers" referring to the previous line

there's a few other minor things but i lost track of them for now.

Very good job. Just some suggestions:

Aww. Look how cute he is. Aww. Stupid baby. Yeah. Let's go.

Radio: check, check; video: check, check This is how the city folk and mole people connect Somebody warp the message right, I'll pass it to the next Now the perforated county's making you upset

Harvistor brand ex-Clark Kents to worm food Carbon heart Buried his nozzle in fossil marker art. Pardon? Cadaver had a legitimate pulse And littered folks are with the village Where the skittish pigeons molt Bastard poacher gasped With the pigeon with Lazarus billy goat whiskers He rose to sea salt in the open blisters But blind anarchy slips through the cracks See naked martyrs with Bubbilicious on fishing rods Itching to pull it back With that organic invention incubated to hatch Some can try to make it fructose on paper now Iron the details later and the crews will taper out Of wooly mayors ousts? Through piggy jammy happy shooting at the bladed mouth Bazooka Tooth zoo, keep the paper route With janky funds and favors Cradled by twelve empty Zelda heart containers Man, it's freezing in this brick bitch Winter forever Like Punxsutawney Phil found With his four furry wrists severed I walk face-first through the sex, guns, and church With wild things that make Maurice Syndek Question his early works But no hostages, no promises Out the clock corporate cogs and sprockets Not clogs off gromits Running from a rabid Ringwraith clique, basilisk, serpentine In and out of traffic jam and murder scenes Scrub blood off the AF1 fifty two pick up first degree Some toddlers smuggled tommy guns and crack into the nurseries Dog, there's a fucking baby at the door asking for wallets And those ain't twin Beanie Babies inside his pockets 2010 sonograms show the magnum's worn directly out the fetus Evolution for the young killer convenience

Radio: check, check; video: check, check This is how the city folk and mole people connect Somebody warp the message right, I'll pass it to the next Now the perforated county's making you upset Magazine: check, check; paper route: check, check This is how the Hermit Inc. and Busy Bee connect Somebody's losing track of their flesh and bloods in arrests Polka dotted landscapes, what did you expect? Nowadays even the babies got guns Diaper snipers having clock-tower fun Misplace the bottle might catch a bad one Have a mid-life crisis when you're ten years young

Hold up If the Jesus piece around your neck is bigger than your pistol It makes homicide okey dokey and your God will forgive you Just show the saints at heaven's gate you should be on the list I hear he overlooks manslaughter for a tatooed crucifix Twisty, fidgety, contradicting Wild animal shit bleed off the sliding board doctor To miss the turtle pool mom bought Somewhere to laminate dry bones in cool water and ease my doula After you thumb suck and diaper change They burp then shoot the school up I duel, too, but only to exploit no-brainers Teenager beef past alligator teeth And extra-curricular flagpole scrapping Amongst tadpoles that have yellow backbones Team mechanism brought airborne shrapnel scraps to hassle captains by the itchy index of an umbillically-garbed fraggle baby Fragile, maybe, ya think? Chop shop and a misled maladjusty crusty lock box Hiding clips that light the sky in seconds Like doing communal hopscotch gives them leverage Cut 'em with mortars While I mumble in the immortal slang of "must-not [sleep]" For the anti-lead nirvana I used to think I'd get hit by a bus or something dumb and dumber Now the bus is slugs plugged by the newest kiddie thug wonder Suffered through Kingsley Rep a wide pride dosage For tomorrow the holsters are bound to outnumber the roaches Not a coach, but that'll even jolt the immobile When global terrorism's all the rage your folk get smoked local Block[head], if you need me, i had to bounce to D.C. to bullet-proof mom's flower garden before the war cheats me If I'm not back in a week tell the crew I said "peace, and lay low" Strays don't vacate slow

Radio: check check; video: check check This is how the city folk and mole people connect Somebody warp the message right, I'll pass it to the next Now the perforated county's making you upset Magazine: check check; news flash: check check This is how the Hermit Inc. and busy bee connect Somebody's losing track of their flesh and bloods in arrest Polka dotted landscapes what did you expect? Nowadays even the babies got guns Diaper snipers having clock-tower fun Misplace the bottle might catch a bad one Have a mid-life crisis when you're ten years young

Aboard the battleship, gray sky, the day I Got the phone call Jam Master Jay died So, no, I'll probably never write another Daylight Because the stingers tend to cling more than the portable hay rides It adds up when a pioneer fall In comparison to your ninety-nine bottles of beer wall There's banana peels in your hamster wheels Hand cannons in your shoebox, please Mine's got Adidas, rest in peace Get at me.