Blue October – Hate Me

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"Hate Me" as written by and Justin Furstenfeld....

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They're crawling like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride,
A nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me
Just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for three whole months,
It's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart
Is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you
For holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
You were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions
On things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
When it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away
That I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart
To leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart, I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street
For every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy,
I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying,
And I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling,
"make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back
And shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered,
"How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
For you
For you
For you

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Lyrics submitted by anarchysomething44, edited by here4evr1, intrinsick, samashton

"Hate Me" as written by Justin S Furstenfeld

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management

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Hate Me song meanings

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437 Comments

+17
General CommentReally guys? This is obviously the only song you've heard from this band because you don't know anything about Justin Furstenfeld (lead singer/Song Writer). He suffers from bipolar disorder and at the time had a drug addiction. His wife divorced him and he's having a custody battle over his daughter, but that was after he wrote this song (the album "Any Man in America" tells that story). His life is shit so he overdoses, gets drunk, and almost kills himself; his mother knows all of this, but still continues to love and care for him. Justin however, doesn't think he deserves that and wants his mom to hate him for all that he's done.

~This isn't an interpretation, this is the actually meaning of the song.
tmv419on February 18, 2012 Link
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  This is the only comment that is 100% correct. It's a song about addiction and it's affect and how it pushes the people you love away. Very deep and powerful stuff if you know anything about addictions.
  Flag zzsignupon March 19, 2013
  
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  tmv419 I have read that the original song was about his mother cause in the video he goes to a funeral and its his mother and yet she is sitting on the porch drinking tea with him. then I heard he redid the song over a girlfriend. now any man in America is about his divorce and how fathers get so screwed over because the now ex wife does stuff like that. I believe that is wrong a child is not a tool to hang over the father that's why he created the web site any man in America. when we come to this song for meaning we do not come to hear about new albums that came way after the song so it really displeases me to see people throwing in 2 cents that are not about this song.
  Flagged CstrifeHon February 26, 2014
  
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  Aren't all artists somewhat bipolar ... You'Re right tho, it's the exact meaning of the song.
  Flag hincognitoon November 10, 2014
+10
General Commentany one who thinks this song is about a break up is a f***ing idiot... the song is about how his mom helped him through an addiction and he wishes he could have done more to show the he appreciated what she did for him before she died... "Mother: "Hi Justin! This is your mother it is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication. You know I love ya. Take care honey, I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!"... this part of the song is the last thing he has of his mother... the night before they get together for lunch she feels nervouse because he is under alot of pressure to get better and make everything right with himself and before he can call her back or she can call again "and will you never call again?" she dies and he never gets the chance to show that he really cares about how she helped him and he wishes he could have done more to show his appreciation "Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you"
stlnslon August 21, 2009 Link
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+9
General CommentHey guys. Whats up? I just wanted to put in my 2 cents to this awesome song. I dont know about you all, but the recording of the song that I have starts with a recording of a phone call from someone's (lead singer?) mother. Essentially the mother is calling to make sure the son is alright and to tell him that she loves him.

I think the song is in contrast to the loving care that the mother gives him. He is telling his mother that she should hate him because of what he has done to her, but in spite of that she still cares about him.
Lelandroson February 24, 2006 Link
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  i think so yea. because it shows in the music video his mother taking care of him as he grows up and when he is with his prom date so i rlly think it is about his mother. i love this song
  Flagged islesdude1on February 15, 2009
  
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  I just watched the video for the first time! sooo sad but its def about his mother!
  Flagged nikkicoleion April 20, 2009
  
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  I just watched the video for the first time! sooo sad but its def about his mother!
  Flagged nikkicoleion April 20, 2009
  
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  yea that and also when it first cam eout i saw an interview with the band they told the camera that it was about one of the band members' dead mother.. not quite sure hwo the dead part is worked into there but thats what Blue October said so i'm gunna go with them. peace out!!! <3 and =)
  Flagged kirajoon May 11, 2009
  
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  Wow, thanks so much for this post and for the replies. I'm a mom with 2 young boys, so I never watch music videos anymore. So I never knew for sure before now. But when I hear this song, IT IS SO DEVASTATING! I can hardly listen to it. It is such a beautiful song, and I love it. But I just think of a son having to say this stuff to his mom, and the sadness of a person going through all these things and then feeling this way toward his mom...and I can hardly catch my breath.
  
  Anyway, this song has made me FEEL more than any other song before.
  Flagged doniologyon August 02, 2009
  
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  i think they've blocked the video for some reason, i cant get it :(
  Flagged missmiklaon October 02, 2010
  
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  Lelandros, I do believe you are correct. My daughter passed away less than 4 months ago. After her passing I posted on her facebook and one of her friends posted directly afterwards making reference how my daughter loved this song. I looked it up and listened to it but didnt catch the meaning. I recently made another post, speaking of a memory of a book I found and how I used to read it to her and that same friend posted a link to the youtube version of Hate Me. I listened again, and I heard the beginning of the message the mother left. Didnt hear that part the first time I listened to the song. I am so f*cking heart broken. She called a few days before she died with concerns she had. She was afraid of the health issues she was facing that I had overcome at her age. She said she was just like me and didnt want to be. I called her the next couple days & left her voice mails that I loved her. She never returned my call. Instead at 530am I receive a txt from my youngest daughter. Mom, wake up, I cant talk on the phone but txt me. Kate OD they think it was on heroin she's on a breathing machine. They found her at 3 something, got her here at 4. She wasnt breathing nor had a beating heart when they found her. I lived 2 hours away. Got there and spent 6 hours watching her die over and over until her heart could no longer take the attacks. She always said she didnt want to be like me. But we both overcame the Hodkins, and I know she would have overcome the possibility of the 2nd cancer if she had been diagnosed with it. She was currently having tests run. God, why did it have to be the addiction that would be the one thing she would change so that she would NOT be like me. How could my baby WANT me to hate her? How could any parent possibly hate their child? I know my baby did not want to die, her actions were accidental. I do know that with all my heart.
  Flagged brokenbondson November 07, 2011
  
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  As someone who put my parents through plenty of worry and sleepless nights and who now has kids of his own, I can't watch the video without losing my breath. I am so glad my mother is not in her grave with an answer machine on top of her and that she can see that I have turned out okay. It's never too late to sort yourself out. Asking parents to hate you wont work, they wont stop loving you and you will have to answer to yourself for all of the pain you put them through. This is the message I get from the song. The part of the video that gets me the most is when he walks down the stairs after watching his mother care for him as a baby and small child and sees his mother lifting his head up as he is passed out on drink and or drugs. Love really does hurt.
  Flagged bloodydoorson March 05, 2012
  
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  And the lines: "And like a baby boy I never was a man, until I saw your blue eyes cry...And then she whispered 'how could you do this to me.'" are devastating.
  Flagged bloodydoorson March 05, 2012
  
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  @Lelandros
  Flag regina1040on January 29, 2017
+6
My InterpretationAs the mother of a guy who has been struggling with being Bipolar the majority of his life. This song means everything to me. I have watched my son try to end his life during a depressive phase, sat in the hospital holding his hand while he was on life support. I have listened to his guilt ridden apologies to me for hurting me. I have watched his manic phases where he is on top of the world. My son is my best friend and there is nothing that is much harder than to see someone in such a dark place and you cannot do a fucking thing about it. I expected to bury my son before he turned 18. He is 23 now. He still struggles on. He is singing this song to me.
Gelfieon November 13, 2010 Link
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  My daughter has struggled with depression for many yrs. I myself, sister struggle with it every day. My mother and brother lost that struggle both committed suicide.
  My daughter has personality disorder. I feel for ya, been there done that. She disappears into this pain that I cant help her with, it hurts me to see her hurt so bad. She says this song reminds her of us and I tend to believe that. It is an awesome song. I just felt for you when I seen your message and wanted you to no that there are us out here that no what your going through. Hang on its a bumby ride. Take care.
  Flag conzteron November 24, 2010
  
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  Originally, I thought this song was about a girlfriend/spouse, but now, after looking more closely at the video, I think that it's about his mother. Good call!
  
  Sorry to hear about your son. Sadly, I suspect that that may be me in a few years with my oldest daughter.
  
  Flag here4evr1on October 06, 2012
  
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  @Gelfie Hi! Im a young woman 2 years older than your son and Im also Bipolar. Im sure your son has thanked you for what you do and I want to tell you that what you do is really important for him. My mother has always been there for me too but I sadly have seen how worst it can be for people who dont have someone by their side. I thank my mother and Ive seen how hard it is for her. Now Im a lot better, it IS POSSIBLE. Just hang there!!!! Love from Mexico City
  Flag clarafreon July 31, 2015
+5
General CommentI don't think its about alcoholism (he says he has overcome his addiction by this point) or breaking up, altho i think those are part of it. I think its about being tied up in a person. She and He have broken up some time ago, but he still carries a hope, really -- an obsession with the idea that she might one day love him again. So he waits by the phone, stops going out, stops talking to everyone, stops EXISTING except for her. This song is him realizing that every little scrap of attention she gives him just perpetuates that dead hope, and that the only way for him to get over her is to cut ties completely. And not only does this obsession, infatuation hurt him -- it hurts her as well. She still cares about him, but doesnt love him. ANd he tries to convince himself that he can just be friends with her, but knows he cant.

"I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head" --- he cant think of her at all becuase even the slightest thought gives him a desperate hope of something that will never come.

"Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you"
basically -- he's telling her,
"move on, you stay becuase you think im not ok, but im not ok becuase you stay and unknowingly give me false hope"

Thats what i think its about... Hope and how it can kill you... and how to get rid of it. i can totally relate to this song, and i have learned through many hard experiences that the only true way to get over someone is to totally cut ties. that doesnt mean thta tyou wont one day meet again -- but to stay now will kill you.
egiapharason February 18, 2006 Link
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  It's his MOTHER, not a girlfriend.
  Flagged cindyljoanon September 18, 2009
  
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  That's stupid. Who would make a porno with their mom?
  Flagged theburlyoneon April 12, 2010
  
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  If you watch the music video, you can clearly see it's about his mother, not a girlfriend.
  Flagged iamkeniaon June 20, 2010
  
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  I think you have the message backwards entirley. Where does he say he wants to make/made a porno? He just said a porno feels like home because he is so lonley.
  
  Anyway, I actually think the message is not him having hope, but him trying to break away from his girlfriend (or another loved one) because he feels like a burden to them:
  "An ounce of peace is all I want for you
  Will you never call again?
  And will you never say that you love me
  Just to put it in my face?
  And will you never try to reach me
  it is I that wanted this"
  
  It's obvious this loved one was trying very hard to help, not get away from him:
  "While I was busy waging wars on myself
  You were tying to stop the fight"
  
  Flagged Eldrakon April 18, 2011
  
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  I think you have the message backwards entirley. Where does he say he wants to make/made a porno? He just said a porno feels like home because he is so lonley.
  
  Anyway, I actually think the message is not him having hope, but him trying to break away from his girlfriend (or another loved one) because he feels like a burden to them:
  "An ounce of peace is all I want for you
  Will you never call again?
  And will you never say that you love me
  Just to put it in my face?
  And will you never try to reach me
  it is I that wanted this"
  
  It's obvious this loved one was trying very hard to help, not get away from him:
  "While I was busy waging wars on myself
  You were tying to stop the fight"
  
  Flagged Eldrakon April 18, 2011
  
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  Not about Alcohol at all. He was a heroine addict
  Flag regina1040on January 29, 2017
  
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  Also one hint to that is the line "there's a burning in my pride"
  To the porno reference someone stated it's loneliness and that's 100% correct. Watching his home movies of "family" make a porno feel like home...that's the extent of the love in his life. I once heard heroine addicts can't feel the meaning of love only that they feel wanted. Rather sad
  Flag regina1040on January 29, 2017
+3
General CommentI'm 18 & pregnant. I heard this song for the first time just a few minutes ago, & the first thing I thought about was my baby's father. There were times we had a wonderful relationship. He had a bad coke addiction & actually did thank me when he cleaned up because he said I had helped him a lot. However, he left me shortly after I became pregnant. We now live far apart (him in Texas, me in Georgia). I've realized he has too many personal demons & no matter how hard I try to help him, I can't change him. I've had to train myself not to love him anymore.

This song sounds exactly like a letter I can picture him writing to me. The song breaks my heart, but it's wonderful.
between colorson February 24, 2006 Link
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+2
General Commenthe wants her to hate him because he's not good enough, he can't be good enough, and he just wants to give everything up in his life and push her away to make her happy.
disasterfaerie22on March 01, 2006 Link
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+1
General Commenti really like this song :] i heard it 2 weeks ago on the radio in florida and yeah i thought it was about the mother too.
Deadlysinnerson March 02, 2006 Link
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+1
General Commenti dont think these guys really reallize the affect ther music has on people. wether its about the mother or not, it had a hole different meaning for me, that noone could REALLY understand. About a week before i herd this song for the first time, my boyfriend moved to california for art school. This song COMPLEETLY discribes our relationship...it was good for the longest time...it was all we could do to sign out of messenger at the end of the day to go to sleep...we both fell inlove with eachother knowing EXACTLY how it would end...painful. Every single word of this song in some way is related to our relationship...for example, the words hate me: he asked me "how can i leave you like this?' and i said 'hate me, find some reasong to hate me, hate me b/c i wont move with you...its good for you, this is wut you want, this is wut you need...' i thot it was so cool that we actualy lived a song before we herd it good times
enough from me..
-Lyzz
lyzzroxon March 08, 2006 Link
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+1
General CommentThe guy in this song used to be an addict (I've been sober now for three whole months). He is now sober, thanks to the help of his girlfriend (It's one accomplishment that you helped me with). Now that he can see a bit more clearly, he is starting to think that he is not good enough for her. He loves her dearly, so much in fact, that he wants her to find somebody who is good enough for her (hate me so you can finnaly see what's good for you). He also realizes the destruction and obsticles that he has caused in her life (an ounce of peace is all I want for you) She also loves him, and does not want to let go. She realizes that he loces her and also realizes how much pain he has called her (and then she whispered how can you do this to me). He wants her to hate him because then it will be easier for both of them to move on (will you never call again).
This is an amazing lyrical song and needs to be recognized by more people. It also has a great melody to it. i especially love the violin (or whatever it is) that comes in near the end. very touching.
stop existingon March 21, 2006 Link
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  @stop existing

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Blue October – Hate Me

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