Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

I'm afraid you've all got it wrong. The woman in the song is CHEATING on her husband, the singer. It's not tequila that makes her clothes fall off; in fact, I doubt she's drinking tequila (or anything stronger than wine) at all. She just loses items of clothing while in a hurry to get naked for her paramour, or forgets to put them back on afterward. When she gets home and he confronts her about the missing items, she comes up with lame excuses, but he can't bear the thought of her cheating on him, so he believes her (or, alternatively, he doesn't believe her at all, and the song is meant to be a sarcastic retelling of her lame excuses).

In support of my interpretation, I offer the following:

She went out for margaritas at the HOLIDAY INN. Yes, some hotels have bars, but ALL hotels have bedrooms. And hotel bars are not known as wild party places. If they play music at all, it's elevator music, not Bon Jovi.

All of the things that she "looses" while consuming tequila are just as likely to be lost while consuming any other alcoholic beverage, or no alcohol at all:

• Shoes being removed are obviously because they are uncomfortable. Are they somehow MORE uncomfortable to a tequila drinker than a vodka drinker? In fact, it seems that the shoes would become less uncomfortable the drunker one gets.

• Losing an earring; yes, it happens all the time. To stone-cold sober people. Why does she not lose earrings when sober, or when consuming other spirits?

• Leaving a jacket in a bathroom stall; this has to be the lamest. Have you ever BEEN in a bar bathroom? No woman would take off any item of clothing and let it come in contact with any surface in a public restroom.

• Dropping a contact down the sink; again, just as likely to happen when sober. But a lot MORE likely for a woman to INTENTIONALLY REMOVE a contact before sex.

Actually, the excuses are so ridiculously lame, I don't think the wife even CARES if the husband believes her, and perhaps even WANTS to hurt him with the information. That's probably why she admitted to going to the Holiday Inn.

Alternatively, the woman may have left the house with no intention of cheating, but when she drinks tequila, she loses her inhibitions (which, unlike the "lost" items, IS more common with tequila than other spirits) and ends up in bed with a stranger. But one way or the other, she's an adulteress. And by repeating her excuses for the missing items, the singer is either a) trying to convince himself that she's not cheating on him, or b) sarcastically throwing them back in her face.