This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
In parallel sea what would I be?
My first love said to me:
"Tears out for the world to see"
I would not be
I did not see the China berry tree
Tears out, it would feel so
Heavenly, heavenly, heavenly
Hard now to picture a me
Without a you
"Don't interfere"
Part of her back was frozen
For the remainder of the war
"Don't be concerned"
But I never learned how not to be
As my first love said to me:
"I don't care. I'm not there"
So that I could not sleep
My whole being was falling apart
So that I soon cried out:
"Dear friends, hold me!"
My first love said to me:
"Tears out for the world to see"
I would not be
I did not see the China berry tree
Tears out, it would feel so
Heavenly, heavenly, heavenly
Hard now to picture a me
Without a you
"Don't interfere"
Part of her back was frozen
For the remainder of the war
"Don't be concerned"
But I never learned how not to be
As my first love said to me:
"I don't care. I'm not there"
So that I could not sleep
My whole being was falling apart
So that I soon cried out:
"Dear friends, hold me!"
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"Hard now to picture a me Without a you" I think that this song is about a longing to be with someone, that has just rejected you. It seems like it's the first time you've run over the events of a break-up in your mind, and you can only remember the dark final moments.