Autodidact

Hello. This is mooperty, the person to first comment on this song 4 years ago, I was 15 at the time. Back then I raved about the instrumentation and musical technicality while completely disregarding the meaning of the lyrics. I think I now understand what Tommy and the band are getting at with this song.

An autodidact is an educated person who is self taught. I'm guessing this is referring to one or more of the band members. As far as I know, none of the band members have had any formal training, but more than likely I'm wrong. Since this album has a recurring theme of personal growth, I'm going to assume the song is about Tommy (possibly speaking for the band, rather than himself like in Backwards Marathon).

I believe this song to be about the struggles of becoming a recognized/accomplished musician in today's world ("I just want to be loved and liked by everyone") and the pressures put on them by others to go out and do something with their talent, whether it be from friends and family or even from the record company to write new tracks that will sell.

Its no secret that the band has problems with the music industry and the lifestyle that supposed "rockstars" are expected to lead. ("Forcing improvement of our musical system") He wants to get out and do something different that will get him recognized and make people think rather than fuck, drink, sleep, repeat.

But therein the contradiction of the band's stance on life and the music industry.

If you recall from other songs and interviews, Mordecai was a homeless person that they knew who was completely happy and content being homeless. He had no problems with anyone and was a major inspiration for the band and their approach to the music industry's materialistic views.

"Personal happiness should be all that matters (I feel the most of the time) Days like today Mordecai flies down on this ship and stares me in the eyes"

Mordecai had nothing. Tommy aspires to be so much. Mordecai is Happy. Tommy doesn't seem so here. Perhaps the thought of pursuing this musical enlightenment in considered selfish on some level, especially compared to a man who had lost everything but his dog.

I believe the next few lines to be largely a double entendre.

Maybe I should just be this bedroom performer I keep hearing of No pressure, no boundaries Only personal pleasing

I take it primarily as the narrator questioning whether its right to pursue such a dream, maybe just be content with oneself as an accomplished musician, i.e. "personal pleasing", to be a bedroom performer, not getting your name out there, not doing anything different.

A different way to read this is to assume that perhaps the good ole rockstar lifestyle IS the thing that will bring happiness (the easy way out, they're already signed to a record label). Drugs, sex, and rock'n'roll, no boundaries because you're so far from them. (control, control me, piss it all away)

Also, throughout the song, Tommy speaks of being relaxed, bored, on a cruise. Perhaps all of this happening at once is a little exhausting, but he can't really stay here forever. All of these different decisions to make and glaring contradictions is a lot to take in, especially at this point of the bands career with new people and an awkward adaption to the changes they're trying to make.

For the final spoken-word song on this new album, it sure is a powerful one. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of it.