The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Seven o'clock in the morning
And the rays from the sun wakes me
I'm stretchin' and yawnin'
In a bed that don't belong to me
And a voice yells, "Good morning, darlin", from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise, she ain't you
Now I've got this dumb look on my face
Like, what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here 'til the morning sun?
Must of lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the club, went to her home
Didn't plan to stay that long
Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys
Tryin' to get on up out the door
Then she streched her hands in front of it
Said, "You can't go this way"
Looked at her, like she was crazy
Said, "Woman move out my way"
Said, "I got a wife at home"
She said, "Please don't go out there"
"Lady, I've got to get home"
She said, her husband was comin' up the stairs
"Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet"
She said, "Don't you make a sound
Or some shit is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"
"Shit think, shit think, shit quick, put me in the closet"
And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house
Then he walks in and yells, "I'm home"
She says, "Honey, I'm in the room"
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin', "Honey, I've been missin' you"
She hops all over him
And says, "I've cooked and ran your bath water"
I'm tellin' you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar
Throws her in the bed
And start to snatchin' her clothes off
I'm in the closet, like man, what the fuck is going on?
You're not gonna believe it
But things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, "There's a mystery going on
And I'm gonna solve it"
And I'm like, "God please, don't let this man open this closet"
He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
She says, "Baby, come back to bed"
He says, "Bitch, say no more"
He pulls back the shower curtain
While she's biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I'm sweating like hell
Checks under the bed
Then under the dresser
He looks at the closet
I pull out my Beretta
He walks up to the closet
Get close up to the closet
Now he's at the closet
Now he's opening the closet...
And the rays from the sun wakes me
I'm stretchin' and yawnin'
In a bed that don't belong to me
And a voice yells, "Good morning, darlin", from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise, she ain't you
Now I've got this dumb look on my face
Like, what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here 'til the morning sun?
Must of lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the club, went to her home
Didn't plan to stay that long
Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys
Tryin' to get on up out the door
Then she streched her hands in front of it
Said, "You can't go this way"
Looked at her, like she was crazy
Said, "Woman move out my way"
Said, "I got a wife at home"
She said, "Please don't go out there"
"Lady, I've got to get home"
She said, her husband was comin' up the stairs
"Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet"
She said, "Don't you make a sound
Or some shit is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"
"Shit think, shit think, shit quick, put me in the closet"
And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house
Then he walks in and yells, "I'm home"
She says, "Honey, I'm in the room"
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin', "Honey, I've been missin' you"
She hops all over him
And says, "I've cooked and ran your bath water"
I'm tellin' you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar
Throws her in the bed
And start to snatchin' her clothes off
I'm in the closet, like man, what the fuck is going on?
You're not gonna believe it
But things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, "There's a mystery going on
And I'm gonna solve it"
And I'm like, "God please, don't let this man open this closet"
He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
She says, "Baby, come back to bed"
He says, "Bitch, say no more"
He pulls back the shower curtain
While she's biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I'm sweating like hell
Checks under the bed
Then under the dresser
He looks at the closet
I pull out my Beretta
He walks up to the closet
Get close up to the closet
Now he's at the closet
Now he's opening the closet...
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This is written by a very talented man, R. Kelly. This song is so funny and i love the part about the midget haha! Its weird how they just have chapters 1-5 on here. Theres acutally 12. Even though this could probably not happen in real life i think the lyrics are both hilarious and well written. I own the dvd. It has all the videos and i crack up every time i watch it. I dont care if R. Kelly peed on anyone or not. What he does in private and behind closed doors is his own damn business. R. Kelly is not the only person in history that has peed on somebody im sure. But anyways i think this song is awesome and funny at the same time. And anyone who doesnt like this song, thats okay. If you think its crap thats your opinion. But i think its pretty damn good! Great job Kels!