This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
andrew broder:
dear god please give me the strength
to just totally fuck my brains out
said the amateur icon to the telephone totem pole
and if you squint your eyes just right
you can see the shark fin protrude from all the globes
bobbing up and down in the black sea
and if you sit in one spot and blow and blow and blow
you can blow the walls of your own house down
while massaging with your ring finger
the gun barrel size space behind your chin bone
and so let's have a pizza party with refreshments
and celebrate the capability
of building and fixing and building and fixing
and you and the shirt you tucked in on
but all the veins in between the words
of the flying trapeze instruction manual
require top of volcano vision to scratch and sniff
daydream of panic-seeking missiles
to pinball ricochet inside the dog smile your brains out.
why?:
i keep expecting my grandfather any day now.
peppered eggs: hard white, runny yellow.
creepy wide-eyed youngsters looping
four notes from some tv jingle
the entire afternoon.
the innocence in children's laughter
can be confused with a touch of evil.
at what age can a child detect deception
in a jack-o-lantern's smile
(and its relationship to autumn and the death
of things all in the wild)-
like the anticipation in the face of someone
whose just poisoned your wine,
saying "drink, drink" with their eyes
and making toasts to you.
when do children learn to expect
death when the leaves turn pretty colors?
dear god please give me the strength
to just totally fuck my brains out
said the amateur icon to the telephone totem pole
and if you squint your eyes just right
you can see the shark fin protrude from all the globes
bobbing up and down in the black sea
and if you sit in one spot and blow and blow and blow
you can blow the walls of your own house down
while massaging with your ring finger
the gun barrel size space behind your chin bone
and so let's have a pizza party with refreshments
and celebrate the capability
of building and fixing and building and fixing
and you and the shirt you tucked in on
but all the veins in between the words
of the flying trapeze instruction manual
require top of volcano vision to scratch and sniff
daydream of panic-seeking missiles
to pinball ricochet inside the dog smile your brains out.
why?:
i keep expecting my grandfather any day now.
peppered eggs: hard white, runny yellow.
creepy wide-eyed youngsters looping
four notes from some tv jingle
the entire afternoon.
the innocence in children's laughter
can be confused with a touch of evil.
at what age can a child detect deception
in a jack-o-lantern's smile
(and its relationship to autumn and the death
of things all in the wild)-
like the anticipation in the face of someone
whose just poisoned your wine,
saying "drink, drink" with their eyes
and making toasts to you.
when do children learn to expect
death when the leaves turn pretty colors?
Lyrics submitted by girlboyrevolt
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