Well, I don't go to church on Sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way

I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
Fall down on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store

Well, I've got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well, I don't want no Abba Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy

Well, it's the only thing that can pick me up
It's better than a cup of gold
See, only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul

When the weather gets rough and it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy but that's okay
Pour him over ice cream for a nice parfait

Well, it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
It's good enough for me

Well, it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel so good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Lyrics submitted by Dr_Colossus, edited by anniemi

Chocolate Jesus Lyrics as written by Thomas Alan Waits Kathleen Brennan


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Chocolate Jesus song meanings
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  • +5
    General CommentThis song is amazingly sarcastic and brilliant. It's very obviously a stab at religious nuts who contradict themselves and hold large egos.

    "I know Jesus loves me
    Maybe just a little bit more" - This is awesome.
    herbivoreon October 25, 2007   Link
  • +4
    General CommentI see this song as a satire of America's twisted version of Christianity.

    America has commoditized religion (hence, chocolate Jesus wrapped in cellophane) - it has been monetized (sold at "candy store"), exploited (melted and poured over ice cream), and, most importantly, disconnected from its origins (don't get down on my knees to pray...memorize books of bible...got my own special way). Christianity is used and abused (makes the chocolate eater happy and is good enough...but the eater doesn't go out of their way for the religion, just uses for personal comfort).

    One does not need to go out of their way to see the "Chocolate Jesus" phenomenon in America's citizens, politicians, stores, and churches...(is there even a difference b/t the last two?)

    Salvation is bought and sold in america...
    DeepInkon October 13, 2008   Link
  • +4
    General CommentI've heard Tom tell the story about the Testamints, but he also says that the chocolate Jesus was a real piece of Easter candy given to him by his father in law, and he thought it was just kind of odd and wrote a song about it.

    By the way, the reference to the old Abba Zabba candy bar is a little nod to one of his musical idols, Don "Captain Beefheart" Van Vliet, who also wrote a song about a piece of candy, "Abba Zabba", released on the album "Safe as Milk".
    Lazloon March 15, 2012   Link
  • +3
    General CommentOn VH1 Storytellers, Tom explained that his uncle periodically sent him get rich quick ads clipped from the paper. An ad on the back of one for "Testamints" ( christianthings.com/…) caught his eye and he quipped "What's next, a chocolate Jesus?"
    KurtKon April 02, 2007   Link
  • +3
    General CommentHe also stated that he recorded the song outdoors, and the rooster you hear in the beginning is real and just happened to crow at the right time..
    KurtKon April 02, 2007   Link
  • +2
    General CommentThat rooster is probably one of the coolest things I've ever heard in a song :)
    cypreziodon April 24, 2007   Link
  • +2
    General CommentYeah, there's a live recording of this song that I found on YouTube, and at the beginning, Tom says to the audience somethin like "I've discovered this candy item; it's an immaculate confection, it's like this little thing wth a cross on one side and a bible inscription on the other, and you put it in your mouth and when it's gone...you can just get up a leave". So that kinda ties in with what "KurtK" said. Thats my two cents anywayssss
    Tommy_the_Caton July 18, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Commenti agree with sirgarycoleman. no we don't like putting Jesus' image on anytyhing retrorocket. corprate asshole do that. not christians. :)
    sexy-man-beaston December 05, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentA while ago an American artist actually made a life-size Jesus out of chocolate & exhibited it (as far as I remember) in A New York shop window. Various prominent Christians frothed at the mouth. I think Tom Waits only got away with this one because the religious nuts didn't know about it. I wonder if the artist was inspired by this song? Must have been, surely? I don't know what happened to the real chocolate Jesus, maybe he got eaten. "Pour him over ice cream for a nice parfait" - love it! Is that blasphemy or is it blasphemy?
    morbid moragon August 11, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General Commentmorbid morag - "love it! Is that blasphemy or is it blasphemy?"

    Actually, it's sacrilicious
    gravitonon March 16, 2009   Link

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