Miss Mary Ann
kept her man
in porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves
and on that day
as scheduled
they made porcupine love, porcupine love

so stiff and stuck and prickly
he came in and then back out quickly
but lord not any quicker than according to plan
like a soldier, one foot in front of the other

Miss Mary Ann
had a man
named Stan, Stan Buttler
he had no antlers
he had no center
he had no enter and he had no exit

his hair was short and prickly
he came in and then back out quickly
but lord not any quicker than according to plan
like a soldier, one foot in front of the other

and how he loved her apple pies,
how he loved her meat loaf,
how he loved her chicken breasts,
how he loved her pudding,
served promptly at eight o'clock,
served promptly at seven
served promptly at ten o'clock,
and promptly at eleven heaven

Miss Mary Ann
kept her cans
in alphabetical order
Miss Marry Ann
began to have
some thoughts of murder

Miss Mary Ann
started to think
real hard about her future
Miss Mary Ann
preferred her meat
to be freshly butchered

oh she killed him rather quickly
man that woman was truly sickly
but lord not any sicker than according to plan
like a soldier, one foot in front of the other

and how he loved her apple pies,
how he loved her meat loaf,
how he loved her chicken breasts,
how he loved her pudding,
served promptly at eight o'clock,
served promptly at seven
served promptly at ten o'clock,
and promptly at eleven heaven

Miss Mary Ann
kept her man
in porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves
and on that day
as scheduled
they made porcupine love,
porcupine lo-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-apchu!


Lyrics submitted by medicine

Marry Ann song meanings
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  • +1
    General Comment

    As Roald Dahl is one of my favourite writers, I immediately recognized this song as being set around one of his small stories called "Lamb to the Slaughter." Here's the link for reference: classicshorts.com/stories/lamb.html

    The basics to the story is a woman named Miss Mary Maloney is told by her husband who she loves dearly, that he has been having an affair.

    Mary is devastated, as anyone would be after finding out their partner had been cheating on them. Stunned, she offers to make her husband some tea, maybe to try and pretend she hasn't heard what she has just been told. The lines- "How her apple pies, how he loved her meatloaf etc..." to me is Miss Mary thinking in her head how perfect their life was and her thinking about everything she done about for husband, and the lyrics "served promptly at 7 etc.." is a representation of how perfect and routined their married life was. She had always catered to his every need, and then he cheats on her.

    When she is on the way to the kitchen, she takes a leg of lamb out of the freezer to cook for him. Upon hearing the freezer door open her husband says: "For God’s sake, don't make supper for me. I'm going out." Mary is infuriated with this, and without thinking hits him over the head with the leg of lamb, killing him outright with a single blow to the head! "Miss Mary Ann preferred her meat to be freshly butchered."

    Mary begins to think quickly of how she can cover up her husbands death so heads down to the local grocery store and asks for a tin of peas : "Miss Mary Ann kept her cans in alphabetical order".

    When Mary gets home, she phones the police and pretends she has found her husband dead on the floor, she had everything planned from the minute he confessed he was cheating: "According to plan."

    This story has quite a shocking, yet funny ending. I won't spoil it for anyone, if you want to read it, just visit that link :)

    Lozelion January 20, 2007   Link

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