"Underwear Goes Inside The Pants" as written by Jonathan Douglas, Soren Rasted, Lasse Illington and Greg Geraldo....
Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
But we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is…
People running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just…"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
But the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.


Lyrics submitted by NaMTaR

"Underwear Goes Inside the Pants" as written by Jonathan Douglas Greg Geraldo

Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

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21 Comments

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  • 0
    General Commentthis song is so funny...
    tell me if there is mistakes in the lyric
    NaMTaRon November 08, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis is a awsome song even tho it talks the whole time i still think that is good anyway and it talks bout stuff goin on in life right now
    zerobabiion November 12, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHaha, this is such an awesome song, so many good points. Kinda reminds me of 21st century living by matthew good. Anyway, cant wait to hear more from this guy.
    DayDay716on November 21, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis is a good song about how screwed america is and how we only think about ourselves. we dont want to be associated or even help out someone who isnt of our social standards....like bums for instance me i'd personally like to go out into new york or somewhere and start a few more soup kitchens and homeless shelters just to prove to all of america theres at least one person who doesnt live by the "standards" just to prove there is one person in america that gives a rats ass about what happens to our fellow man. and that guy who wrote this song is proving that he is one of those people too.
    Nirvanafreak2249on November 22, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentand if you dont agree with me you can have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker.
    Nirvanafreak2249on November 22, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentsong.. ahah. i dont call it a song. but its so great. mostly because its true. everyone should hear it.
    irockyourworldon November 22, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commenthe does make a good point about america's obesity. but nirvana i think what he's saying about society applies all around the world, and not just america.


    Does anybody know the track he's talking over?
    gattson February 05, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentand why, is everyone sort of anti-american all of a sudden? after iraq, everybody just don't like america.

    Saddam used brutal force to gain power. He annihilated all opposition. Saddam killed 1.5 million muslims alone. he gave $25,000 to the families of SUICIDE BOMBERS. call it compensation, but that's still supporting suicide bombers. and people say that Saddam was not involved with 9/11. It's not that he or his regime was directly involved, but the rise of ideas of hatred. it's the fact that saddam stood for something other than peace(he doesn't stand for anything now).
    gattson February 05, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentGatts, Lets not get political here...
    People don't like america because of their lifestyle and self centeredness, but moving along...
    This song is a social commentary of life in modern day civilisation, in the so called "first world countries"... It is a humous look at society today based on real, significant events.

    But all in all, a fucking hilareous song
    duffon February 09, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentbut can you really say that there are more self-centered ppl in america than anywhere else in the world?
    gattson February 11, 2005   Link

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