Studying Stones Lyrics
trying to learn to be less alive
using all of my will
to keep very still
still even on the inside
so my eyes cant make that connection
i am holding my breath
i'm feigning my death
when i'm looking in your direction
old as my oldest memories
see that one's my mother
and that one's my father
and that one in the hat, thats me
it's a skill i hoped to abandon
when i got out on the open road
but any more pent up emotion
i think i'm gonna explode
as trying to slow the blood in my veins
to keep my face blank
as a stone that just sank
until not a ripple remains
i am high above the tree line
sitting cross legged on the ground
when all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted
well that's when i'm gonna come down
old as my oldest memories
see that one's my mother
and that one's my father
and that one in the hat, that's me
it's a skill i hoped to abandon
when i got out on the open road
but any more pent up emotion
i think i'm gonna explode
It seems like Ani is saying she has spent a lot of time pretending to be emotionally numb, showing that things don't bother her, etc. "Course numb is an old hat / old as my oldest memories" implies that this isn't a new thing, but more a thing she's been doing since she was young, a learned behavior. She hoped she wouldn't have to keep her emotions inside all the time when she got older and out on her own, but "any more pent up emotion / i think im gonna explode" - it hasn't happened. She continues to detach herself from her emotions and the world around her, but wishes it wasn't so.
I really like this song.
KatieC is right. In this song, Ani talks about a learned behavior of holding her emotions in (being stone-like)
But you can't hide from emotion forever...and eventually you will explode.
It seems like Ani is reassuring herself that she shouldn't act on her feelings of temptation/attraction towards someone.
Trying to slow the blood in my veins / keep my face blank (trying to conceal her feelings of attraction); when all the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted that's when I'm gonna come down (when the temptation has gone away, that is when she'll show emotion again).
Great Song.
I agree with most of the comments made, especially KatieC, but I think a lot of what is inspiring this return to the learned behavoir of numbness is someone who makes so much emotion well up in her that she feels out of control or will explode, so whenever she sees them, she has to suppress it.
I love this song so much. It means a lot to me with my relationship with my mother and other people. When I was younger, I always thought I had to keep things hidden from her and everyone else because if I showed my real self I couldn't survive. I thought if I ignored my feelings, they'd go away, and this is what the line means for me: 'When all forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted, that's when I'm gonna come down.'
"Untill not a ripple remains" I know what she means about cutting all the perminant wires. Explicitly making an effort to root out all the parts and places where emotion would(or could) register in or on my appearance was something I did at a young age. Not only could I not show emotion, I would not feel it either. Studying stones. What a good title for what I was doing.
on a gut level i realy feel this song is directed at someone, like mickzzzz says. She has to numb herself from feeling towards what person and this is her way of coping.
This song was written a good time after her breakup with her husband. She had moved on, so perhaps her feelings about that are being submerged into the general soup of old emotions that just hang around without being resolved one way or the other. Things that tend to bring you down when your mind isn't otherwise occupied.
This song was written a good time after her breakup with her husband. She had moved on, so perhaps her feelings about that are being submerged into the general soup of old emotions that just hang around without being resolved one way or the other. Things that tend to bring you down when your mind isn't otherwise occupied.
Life goes on and you get into the everyday business of life, you get over things but sometimes they creep up on you and remind you that they didn't go away, you just filed them under BS.
Life goes on and you get into the everyday business of life, you get over things but sometimes they creep up on you and remind you that they didn't go away, you just filed them under BS.