This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I'll be the one last breath before this death
I'll be the final glimpse of truth when there's none left
And if I shame your face, degrade your faith
I'll be the first to hide behind disgrace.
Blood loss on account of my failing aim.
Treason, at the root of my shameful name.
I found my way to fall.
I never meant to break your heart.
[Chorus]
Breathing in this pain (rejecting all I am)
I hear you cry again (Is this my final stand?)
Before I go (Before I lose it all)
You should know (I hate myself for hurting you)
I see the burn of the light from within my grave
I feel the pain of contradiction despite decay
And if the shadow of doubt will betray this gain
Then put an end to me now while hope remains
Blood -loss- on account of my failing aim
Treason- at the root of my shameful name
[Chorus]
This is not my life
This is not our life
Every day I die
This is not my life
I'll be the final glimpse of truth when there's none left
And if I shame your face, degrade your faith
I'll be the first to hide behind disgrace.
Blood loss on account of my failing aim.
Treason, at the root of my shameful name.
I found my way to fall.
I never meant to break your heart.
[Chorus]
Breathing in this pain (rejecting all I am)
I hear you cry again (Is this my final stand?)
Before I go (Before I lose it all)
You should know (I hate myself for hurting you)
I see the burn of the light from within my grave
I feel the pain of contradiction despite decay
And if the shadow of doubt will betray this gain
Then put an end to me now while hope remains
Blood -loss- on account of my failing aim
Treason- at the root of my shameful name
[Chorus]
This is not my life
This is not our life
Every day I die
This is not my life
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Page
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i dont think it is really about that, sense somewere in the end part where he says "this is not my life, this is not our life" I THINK i hear him say "this is not alright" wjhich i dont think our life belonging god would be a bad thing. i am not sure what this song means my self