The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Wiggley Fingers
I'll never be sad, I'll never be lonely
I'll never be hungry and I'll never be homely
Never make a noise when I'm kissing a boy
Amen amen
Old John Paul is keepin' a tab
In his big red folder
At night he is dreaming
Of hollow candle holders
Big is the weight of the world
on his shoulders
Amen amen amen amen
He's keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to himself
And he sees you keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to yourself
Cause he's always keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to himself
Always keeping those dirty little, hey
Shakin' the tree baby
You should be shaking the bed
You know you're rocking the boat baby
She'll be rocking your head
All the family's watching
60 minutes instead
Amen amen amen amen amen
You're keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to yourself
You're keeping your dirty little, hey
You're keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to yourself
You're keeping your dirty little, oh yeah
They'll send you flying right out of St. Francis Xavier
With a note to your daddy about your unspeakable behavior
And who in the hell is gonna be your savior now
Everyone says love is a labor
So I guess you go call a sex line
If you want to love your neighbor, baby
I'll just standing right here and I'll just get safer and safer
Amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen
You know I'm always
Keeping my dirty little wiggley fingers to myself
I said I'm keeping those dirty little, hey
Keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to myself
Keeping those dirty little, oh yeah
They'll send me flying right out of St. Francis Xavier
With a note to my daddy about my unspeakable behavior
And who in the hell said I need a savior anyhow
I got the dirty little wiggley fingers
I got the dirty little wiggley fingers
I got the dirty little wiggley fingers
I love the feeling of the wiggley
I love the dirty little wiggley
I love the feeling of the wiggley
I love the dirty little wiggley
Dirty
Little
Fingers
Yeah
I'll never be sad, I'll never be lonely
I'll never be hungry and I'll never be homely
Never make a noise when I'm kissing a boy
Amen amen
Old John Paul is keepin' a tab
In his big red folder
At night he is dreaming
Of hollow candle holders
Big is the weight of the world
on his shoulders
Amen amen amen amen
He's keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to himself
And he sees you keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to yourself
Cause he's always keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to himself
Always keeping those dirty little, hey
Shakin' the tree baby
You should be shaking the bed
You know you're rocking the boat baby
She'll be rocking your head
All the family's watching
60 minutes instead
Amen amen amen amen amen
You're keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to yourself
You're keeping your dirty little, hey
You're keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to yourself
You're keeping your dirty little, oh yeah
They'll send you flying right out of St. Francis Xavier
With a note to your daddy about your unspeakable behavior
And who in the hell is gonna be your savior now
Everyone says love is a labor
So I guess you go call a sex line
If you want to love your neighbor, baby
I'll just standing right here and I'll just get safer and safer
Amen amen amen amen amen amen amen amen
You know I'm always
Keeping my dirty little wiggley fingers to myself
I said I'm keeping those dirty little, hey
Keeping those dirty little wiggley fingers to myself
Keeping those dirty little, oh yeah
They'll send me flying right out of St. Francis Xavier
With a note to my daddy about my unspeakable behavior
And who in the hell said I need a savior anyhow
I got the dirty little wiggley fingers
I got the dirty little wiggley fingers
I got the dirty little wiggley fingers
I love the feeling of the wiggley
I love the dirty little wiggley
I love the feeling of the wiggley
I love the dirty little wiggley
Dirty
Little
Fingers
Yeah
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Patty wrote this song in defiance of the Pope. He came out in the 1990s criticizing masturbation. She thought it was ridiculous hence the sarcastic song "Wiggly Fingers" which is basically a pro masturbation song. Pure genius Patty.
Wow, That makes this song even more amazing.